Bad Ferry Trip

In the last dream of the night, I was getting on a ferry boat of some kind to go on a tour of a city. My family was also going. I was left behind and when it came time to disembark onto some kind of floating island in the harbor, I saw them leaving but was far from the exit. I called but they didn't hear me and left. I somehow managed to get onto the floating island after everybody else, but the others were already loading into a boat to take them to the mainland city for the tour. I yelled after them and they saw I was left behind but they didn't wait or come back. The boat left without me. I had to get back on the ferry, but the passengers weren't supposed to be on it (they should have left for the tour) so I sort of stayed out of sight. I yelled after my family that I would just have to jump in the water then if they wouldn't wait for me, to no effect. I ended up jumping in the water and decided to swim back the way we came, knowing I wouldn't be able to swim that far.

Mountains and Monsters

Mt Hood was erupting throughout the dream. At first we set off down I- road on this long walking hike, and we could see the smoke coming from the top of the mountain (despite the fact that you can't actually see it from there). Then I saw a peculiar flurry of white in the sky near the mountain, like a gigantic monster taller than the hills moved, with snow on its shoulders. It turned out to be just that and it was stalking around, quite enormous. We traveled out to the mountain and were walking along mountain trails. At one point we came to a river which had a log accross it that people were crossing. When I went to cross I came up to an old woman who was also on the log. She said she would let me by and then without warning jumped into the river (to allow me to pass) I was aghast and fell off the other side of the log (but a much shorter distance, onto the bank. She climbed out of the water and was okay, but I was still feeling shocked and guilty. I had to explain what had happened to my family. Later the mountain started to erupt in earnest and I was packing some things to evacuate with my family. I may have had my baby at that time. I also had my cat A- but my other cat was not in the dream and I was concerned about this, wondering if something had happened to her (it was like I landed in the dream and didn't know what had happened in the recent past in my life... had something happened to my other cat that I didn't know about but everybody else knew about?).

Detached Legs?

9/6/2008 - Last night's dream
Warning... this is a little gross

Last night's dream was fairly complex but I don't remember most of it... the part I do remember is this. I was at my grandma's house visiting. I went into the kitchen where the washing machine and dryer normally are and instead, there were my legs! How they became separated from me I don't know, they were stacked up against the wall (I have no idea what I was standing on in the meantime). There were two but they looked like the same one! I started to examine them and I noticed that one looked like a slightly older version of the other one, rather than being different as legs normally are. I couldn't tell if one of them was left and the other was right. They both had the same marks and scratches, but on one of them the scratches were slightly more healed. I looked at the top leg and it had a thing like a pimple, but as it turned out as I examined it, there was something in it! It was (ugh) a botfly larvae. I picked and squeezed it out and removed it, alive. It was fairly disgusting, though quite small. On the other leg the same mark was there but it was smaller and looked like it was healing, like it had already been removed.

Moving Twice

Last night's dream

This was one of those long and stressful dreams, but this time the theme was moving. Which is indeed long and stressful and I hope I will not have to do again for a long time. I had to move twice in the dream, both on very short notice and both times to get away from my estranged husband. The first time I moved into this new place which was okay, it was on an upper story. It took forever to pack and cart everything from the old place to the new place. We were hurrying because he was going to come back and interfere and I didn't' want him to find out I was escaping or where I was going to. It took forever and I was totally exhausted. Then he showed up, and I had to move again. This time for some reason he was actually helping move although I was running away from him. The new place I found on very short notice was a peculiar little apartment at the very top of an old building. It had a dangerous looking internal staircase wrapping around (but not a spiral, squared) and it looked like it would be easy to fall down it. I was somewhat concerned about this especially in my condition. The rest of it was kind of funky and oddly put together but I decided it would be interesting and work well enough. It looked out onto a horse paddock. I discovered that it was owned by my old riding instructor! We met up breifly and I decided to get it, and set about tryign to get moved in as quickly as possible and get away from my husband again. The whole dream was very rushed and stressed and exhausting, definitly a stress dream.

Creepy Dogs and Murdering

Tuesday 9/2 (Last night's)

My dreams have been really fragmented lately, can't remember most of them. Judging from what I do remember, thank goodness!

In the first part of this, I was a guy and I worked at a hotel of a bed & breakfast type. One of my jobs was to murder somebody out of each group who stayed there! Then I quickly cleaned up the room and made it all pretty for the next victim so they wouldn't suspect and the rest of the previous group wouldn't't know what happened. I killed at least two people in this dream, and I didn't feel particularly bad about it either. I was thinking in the dream after I killed the first one (I don't remember how I did so, I may have had some ability to kill... it wasn't bloody but was quite fast), well maybe I should have thought about that a little more. Nah, that's my job.

Then in another part of the dream, I'm myself again and swimming across this bay in the middle of the night. Everything is pitch black. There are some other people, friends of mine I guess, who are also swimming across. I can't see a thing and the water is cold but not very deep, I keep running into slime covered sticks and logs with my feet, which is very uncomfortable. Then I see a dog/wolf-like thing swimming in the water, only it's head is out. It has an orangish cast to its fur. It swims toward me and I am trying to get away but I keep running into things underwater. I try to dive under to hide but it grabs my hand, which is still sticking out, in its teeth, and is biting and chewing on it. Then I wake up, and can't shake the image for a long time.

In the next dream after I go back to sleep, my friend H- is visiting me and we are driving around a town (I'm not sure which one) in my vehicle. We are hungry and looking for a place to eat, and I ask her where she'd like to eat. After some discussion we decide to try a place called something like "Kitchen Mama" which is a chain restaurant (not a real one to my knowledge). I have driven here before but am not familiar with the area, but I do remember there is on nearby. After driving around a bit I stop and use my cell phone to look up the restaurant online... there is an application where I can just search for it and it will show me the ones in the area. It asks me to choose which type of Kitchen Mama restaurant I want: Some of them serve chicken as their specialty, some don't serve chicken and some of them serve it sometimes but it's not guaranteed. I ask H- which one she wants and try to search for it. After some issues with getting the results to come up I realize it is just around the corner and we drive to it.

Love in Captivity

I was working on a boat at first, and later in some other workplace with uneven floors that I would slide down accidentally. I think we were being held there, and it wasn't possible to escape. But R-, an old flame of mine, was also working there and we comforted each other. He was open to affection in this dream and would hold me and calm me down, it was very comforting. We were not supposed to be together in the dream (this may have been a blanket rule against all who were enslaved in working there) so the supervisors would pull us apart, but he would get back to me. It was all very detailed but I can't remember most of it. I tried to recapture the good part when I awoke but couldn't get back into it.

A strange bump...

All I remember from this dream was I developed this bizarre bump on my left shoulder, it was as large as the eraser of a pencil and of a peculiar texture with wrinkles over the outside that slipped around on top of the core. This was in addition to the scar lump I already have on my right shoulder. I finally decided they were concerning and went to talk to the doctor about them. I actually still thought I had the weird bump when I woke up but then I realized it had been a dream... I could feel it's strange shape so clearly though!

Pastry Machine Hideout

I remember very little of this and the date might also be wrong.

The dream took place on this large campus with a lot of concrete buildings. I don't think it was a school campus though, it was some kind of work campus. I went into a closed off building which had once been used for manufacturing (nobody was supposed to go in there). There was a long machine which had been used to process some kind of pastries or bread, it still had gunk stuck in it. I ended up crawling out over the top of it after getting stuck in there. I'm not sure if I was trying to hide from people or what... there were other people around at some point.

A Frantic Search For A Gift To Buy

Not really sure about the date on this one, I forgot about it until some time later.

In the part I can remember, I stopped by this place sort of like TESC campus. I was with some friends (possibly including K-) and we had to get a gift for some event we were going to. We were already late. We split up to go look for something and I ran across campus. There was this fashion clothing shop which I had been intending to get something at (although it was very expensive) but it was closed. But there were some people with an upright board out front selling knickknacks. I ended up buying a glass paperweight, one of the ones with a blown glass flower-like shape inside, which I thought was pretty. They also had weird colorful sparkly hair scrunchies and decorations of that sort. I rushed back to meet up with the others. They were somewhat dubious about my gift choice but I don't think anybody had found a better one. Throughout we were extrememly rushed and I felt anxious and worried that I had not been prepared.

Very Peculiar Snack!

I had dreams all night long but I can barely remember anything! I will add more snippets if they come to me.

The part I remember involved my former boss Ch-, who I ran into at a fancy office building somewhere downtown. The other part I remember clearly was that I prepared and ate an open faced sandwich with peanut butter and jalepeños! (I think it also had pickles or pepperoncinis)! Definitely a weird "pregnancy related" craving. I liked it in the dream. It sounds disgusting to me now! :P

Bad Situation Gets Worse

Another dream from last night, which I just remembered

I am talking to my friend H- about the issues leading to the breakup of my marriage, much as in real life the night before, except we discover through talking to each other that he had been having an affair with her! She didn't know it was him having never actually met him (the fact that she is also married and cheating in this scenario didn't seem to present a problem in the dream). But in talking to each other about what he had done to me we eventually put two and two together. We are both outraged. I am not upset at her, just mad at him because as it turns out he was cheating too, and she is also outraged at him for having done this to me (and discovering what kind of person he is). There are lots of further details in the dream, I don't remember most of them.. it involves trapping him in his lies to us and confronting him when he goes to a place like the F- house expecting to meet her as usual. He is unpleasant and angry in the dream, but we are united in our anger and outrage against him. Lots of emotional upset, unpleasantness, and enhanced feeling of betrayal. It took a moment upon awakening to separate it back from reality (which was bad enough).

A Confusing and Uncomfortable Workout

Friday, 8/22/2008
Last night's dream

There's a lot that happens before this, but it's already disappearing.

In the last part of the dream, I drive up to some sort of festival or fair outdoors in a country area. There are booths set up to sell stuff. You are supposed to pay to enter it but I am not there for the festival. I park my car there anyway and walk up to S- Hall, which is on a ridge nearby (not in its usual place). I am early for Taekwon-do class. My instructor is already there, stretching on the floor. My sister is also here for class and possibly my mother. I am feeling tired and I don't know how my Taekwon-do suit will fit over my pregnant stomach. I go into the women's bathroom to change clothes. After I get undressed I discover that I don't have a tee shirt to go under my Taekwon-do top. I feel exhausted. There is a bed in the room with white sheets and a quilt so I lay down on it. After a few moments there I realize someone else is already in the bed! It's some guy! I don't know who he is, he looks maybe around my age, youngish, probably with some Chinese ethnicity. I kick him awake yelling at him, and attempt to cover myself with the quilt (he on the other hand is wearing something). He wakes up slowly, and I ask, "are you a man?" (He looks like a man but I've been mistaken before on occasion, and this IS the women's room). He says that yes he is. I point out that this is the women's bathroom and he should get out of here, NOW! He is sleepy and somewhat amused looking, and says that he knows it's the women's bathroom. After additional prodding and yelling he hauls himself out and leaves. My instructor and my mother come in due to the yelling and I point out indignantly that he was in there. They don't seem as concerned, like they thought my yelling was about a real problem, and indicate I should get dressed.

I go to put on my Taekwon-do suit. At first I decide to put on the top without any undershirt since I don't have one (I don't know what I was wearing before but apparently it wasn't suitable. I don't have a bra either though, so this will be uncomfortable. Then I see there is a rather ugly yellow and black patterned shirt in the bathroom with snaps up the front, made of a thin material. I actually think this probably belongs to the guy who was in here, but it seems clean and I decide to wear it anyway, and I put it on under my Taekwon-do top. I go out and join the rest of the class. My instructor calls out the first forms and I try to get started, but everybody is going every which way overlapping my area and confusing me, they all seem to be doing different things. There is loud music playing in the background too which starts when the form stops, and stops again when it stops. After some mistakes I finally finish, after everyone else. My instructor acknowledges that it must have been difficult with everybody getting in the way (as opposed to me having not done my forms in a while) and tries to space us out a bit more. We do the next form, the loud distracting music starts again although the people don't get in the way as much, so it's very confusing.

We take our Taekwon-do tops off, then I discover that the shirt I'm wearing under it has popped open in the front. It seems they aren't really snaps but little hook things. I call over my instructor and tell her that my tee-shirt has come apart. I am hoping she has a backup tee shirt but apparently she doesn't, so I decide to just go to the bathroom again and put on my Taekwon-do top with nothing under it. She is concerned that I will overheat with my Taekwon-do top on, in my condition, but there is nothing for it. I go into a stall and change. When I come out, I see my mother and instructor are there chatting with two older guys who have set up a little table in the main part of the bathroom with food. This is special stuff they've brought in for our class. There are three dishes: a pot of spicy chili with crackers on top of it, a milder sort of soup or bean dish, and a vegetable dish which is rather odd, it's made with several different whole roasted vegetables, one of each. The man who cooked them said he personally doesn't like to add the green pepper, but that is the way his parents used to make it so he still makes it that way to remember how. After I change I come out and sample two of the dishes (I avoid the spicy chili due to my recent reactions to spicy food). I also find a discarded bunch of slightly dusty but very firm green grapes and eat a handful of those. Everyone else files out to class. The cook of the food tells me that I need to talk to him about getting proper nutrition, in a disapproving sort of way. I say I will but will have to do it later, making excuses, and go back out to class.

There's another part of the dream slightly later which involves climbing into some kind of attic or loft, and my sister and her boyfriend are up there with me... but I don't remember exactly what happens.

A Failed Recital and a Strange Vessel

We are at S- Hall but I don't know that we are doing Taekwon-do. Or maybe we have finished a demonstration just now. I think it is for S- day. We are seated on the floor and there are various audience members grouped around the outside. My mother is supposed to do a reading, she is set up with a microphone. I don't remember exactly what it is, a poem or a list or instructions or guidelines or something. I think she's going to do it in Spanish for some reason. Anyway, she stands there but then she can't do it and she goes into the bathroom to recover herself. We sit there for a moment thinking she will come back, but she doesn't. My sister starts a recording with the English version and I go into the bathroom after her to see if she is okay. She is all upset and nervous. I try to comfort her and tell her that it will be okay. She can do it along with the tape even, and say the Spanish part after the English part. After much discussion she calms down and decides this will be okay and that is what she will do. When we go out, though, the tape is almost over and the audience has left. My sister is still sitting there. It's too late to do the reading.

Later, I am driving home (to my parents house) between S- hall and the Triangle, where the road curves and there are large hedges in front of one persons house. There is a large, rounded machine like a small space ship that is hovering over the swampy area to one side of the road. It is watching us. We stop and get out. We don't think it's an alien craft although it looks like one, we decide it's some sort of government monitoring thing, possibly with the help of alien technology or an alien pilot. I am with several other people, possibly my sister and cousin, I'm not sure. I am going on about Odd Thomas (as a real life person) and all the amazing things he can do, etc., except in the dream this also includes traveling to other dimensions. In fact I think he is in our area as a result of that ability. We look through a window into the ship and discover there are people aboard (we thought it was remote operated). They don't seem to be aware of us though and are facing away at a console.

Some how we get onto the ship, possibly with his help, and wander around looking at stuff. It's a fairly neat setup. I think he helps us hijack it and fly it off.

Midnight Meander

Due to general life upheaval, my dreams (and sleep) have been extremely fragmented and/or disturbing for a while... so no posting. Now they begin to resume some slight coherency.

8/20/2008 (approximate)

Most of this dream remains elusive. The part I remember is: I am younger, living at home. I slip out of my room at night and walk down to the chicken yard in my nightgown/bathrobe. It is a very bright night, possible due to a full moon. I enjoy wandering around in the nighttime. Then I see my father coming down the trail, and I run to hide as I'm not supposed to be out. I duck into some tall grass at the other side of the chicken yard and crouch down. As it turns out he has already seen me and calls me out, I am afraid I will get in trouble but I don't think I do.

Later in the dream I am climbing in a tree with my sister. We are still young, maybe early teenagers at this point, but I am still pregnant.... the placement in time is incongruous. She takes my foot and pushes it against her stomach and after a bit I realize she is telling me she is pregnant, too. I am surprised but not unhappy, then I realize that she is really further along than I am and will have her baby first, but she has been keeping it a secret. Maybe it's because she is not happy about it or doesn't want to tell the father. I congratulate her, but I don't think she is still going to tell anyone else.

Don't Park Your Horse In the Garage

This was a couple of days ago, I've lost track. I thought I recorded it but it turns out I didn't!

To start with I was traveling with my family. We stopped in a small town for the night but we couldn't find any lodgings. The people we talked to seemed to indicate that this was not a good neighborhood for us to stay in, and we would be better off looking somewhere else, but we were really tired and it was late so we finally found a place. I had my car and a horse which I beleive was also mine (a bay) and I parked them both in this large stable/garage thing that was next to the hotel (the horse was tied up right next to the car). The next morning we went down there and my car and my horse had been stolen! The robbers had replaced them with a different car and horse in the same place. The car was a red sports car, not brand new but actually probably nicer than my car, and the horse was a chestnut filly who was pregnant. She was actually very nice but I was upset about the thievery and I told the owners of the place that I wanted my OWN car and horse back! They basically told us they were sorry but they'd warned us about staying here and there wasn't anything they could really do.

I ended up taking the car and horse home, they were mine to use or keep as the thieves had taken my others. I did like the new horse a lot but I wanted my own horse back, even though he was kind of old and beat up he was still a good horse. I installed the horse in my parent's field. We went to talk to my aunt and uncle. As it turned out (I think we knew this at the time as well) the parking garage/stable we'd left them at adjoined a shop that they owned in that town. We all went back to see if there was news of the car. My grandma came with us as well. When we returned my car had been found dumped in the lake nearby, and they were hauling it out. It was full of water, of course, and probably ruined.

Evening was falling again and we decided to go get something to eat at a restaurant. I was with my grandma and she kept wandering off and getting lost or staring at stuff, like she wasn't all there. When it was time to leave the restaurant I couldn't find her and I finally found that she had gone out on a small balcony and was looking at the stars. I couldn't really tell if she was starting to have mental problems or she was slipping away on purpose, but she didn't normally act like this (or show such signs of mental decline in real life).

Disloyalty and Longing

7/15/2008 Tuesday morning/Monday night

It's been a while since recording a dream because I've been having so much trouble sleeping through the night... when you wake up constantly it's very hard to remember the bits and pieces. But most of the one from last night stayed with me.

There are several parts to this dream, I don't remember most of the connecting bits.

I was with my sister and her boyfriend M- at my mother's office. We were coming down the back steps, but they were quite a bit more complicated than in real life. It was or had been raining and they were all wooden and slick. M- was making generally unpleasant remarks, and when I commented on the slickness, he gave me a push to slide on the steps! It was so slick I slid down the stairs to the next landing and slammed against the railing. I was very mad at him shoving me and said so, my sister was somewhat upset as well, and pointed out that I was pregnant. He wasn't particularly repetent.

Next segment (there was stuff in between but it faded)

I had returned to visit the EWU (I think) campus for some reason and was strolling around with my sister. We started to walk back to the car, where other people and relatives were gathering to leave. At the bottom of a small hill I realized that S-, my old (and unfortunately former) friend was there. He was in a wheelchair due to a broken leg (I knew the cause of it. He was sort of behind us. I don't know if he knew that we saw him or not. Maybe he did and he knew why We didn't say anything, but at any rate, he followed along behind us, slowly. We saw him but pretended not to. My heart was pounding. I wanted to say something of course, but couldn't. My sister and I talked and laughed loudly of other things and got to the top of the hill, he was still there. Now he was no longer in a wheelchair or injured. My sister went to get into the car and I had to notice him. We spoke, I think, but I mostly just remember hugging him for a long, long, time. Every time I thought I could let go, I couldn't again. We hugged each other. We touched on how it couldn't be, given my current state of life, but at that moment I really wished it could, and it seemed that he did too. I don't know what he was wishing for though, maybe to just be friends again. My mother and aunt came up in he background, loading other people into the car. My mother saw what I was doing and knew who he was, I think, but she didn't say anything. There was also our dog in the back seat (where I was to sit with four other people, including my brother and possibly even my husband, I'm not sure. Then there were 4 other dogs in the back (it was a station wagon). They were all full sized dogs, and the last one was pretty old, my aunt (N-) boosted it up into the back because it had trouble jumping. Finally I had to let go of S- and we walked over to the car, where I squeezed in by my brother, and wondered why he wasn't on the other side holding our dog.

I woke up briefly still feeling the hug and felt guilty.

Another part, it continued after I went back to sleep but I'm not sure how it go from point A to point B.

I saw my aunt N- with some guy, acting fairly intimate. I was shocked and eventually mentioned it to my mother, who said that it was okay, she had actually gotten divorced from my uncle some months ago, but didn't want to tell anybody yet. I wondered if my cousins knew, then decided of course they must. Should I say something to them? We had been acting normal all along. I decided not to.

Then we were up at my grandma's house. There was some kind of outdoor bazaar or something and my Aunt K- was there. We moved around talking to people. There was a girl probably around my age who was an exchange student. Somebody in my family gave us both some gifts of fabric or scarves. She wanted me to help her write something, a thank-you note I think, and I was trying to accommodate. In the meantime my aunt K- kept talking to this loutish looking guy about what it was like in S.A. She was very interested in learning more but he wasn't too forthcoming.

We went up towards my grandma's actually house, and I noticed that the (dry) swimming pool had been cleaned out. The bottom of it was covered with something like moss but it had been scraped back and colored to reveal a geometric decorative pattern covering the entire bottom of the pool. I was happy that somebody had restored it to its former glory.

There was more in between here inside the house but I've forgotten it.

Then at the end, I am out in the mountains somewhere. I am climbing down hills and cliffs, avoiding the steepest part. It keeps getting steeper and steeper and finally gets to the point where I'm going to have to jump down and probably fall because it's too steep to climb down anymore. So, I wake up.

Beach With No Exit

In the first part of the dream I am spending a lot of time at my parents house, and suddenly I realize that I've left everything in my apartment for weeks now... my cats, my plants, etc. I have to go back and take care of them. Then it turns out it's okay because I hadn't really moved into their house after all, it just seemed like it because it was a dream or something... very odd.

Later...

I am going to the beach with my husband and brother. We park our car at the top of a wooded cliff and make our way down to the water, I am carrying my purse and my canvas bag with a wide variety of stuff in it. I have on some kind of swimsuit thing under a very long (past my knees) white and greens striped button-up shirt. We clamber down the hill to the bottom but the water is covering most of the beach. I'm going kind of slowly and awkwardly and dropping things, so the others end up going ahead. My husband walks down in one direction and comes back, saying that they have that part of the beach closed off because the waves are too high (there are a lot of people in the small part we are at, so it's kind of crowded).

The dream pans out to a view of the dangerous part of the beach as seen from the ocean, there are numerous huge rock pillars close together, and lots of big waves crashing up against and between them. The water is definitely high and dangerous.

So, we decided to go back up and go to a different part of the beach. While we are standing htere another family comes past with some small children, also returning to their vehicle, They open a tiny door in a culvert and go through that way. When we climb back up (another slippery part of the hill), I realize we are not in the same place. My husband clears a small hole in the cliff for my to crawl through, but I don't want to. It looks like I could just squeeze through, but it will be all muddy. I say, "This isn't where we came down before! let's go back that way." Everyone is annoyed with me. My brother goes back that way to wait in the car, and we climb back down to find another way up.

But every time we climb up , it's a different situation and it's not the right place. Also, I keep dropping and spilling my purse and the bag I'm carrying and having to stop and pick them up. At one point we climb up a very narrow area, my husband is behind me. I say there is not enough room, the rock edge is very steep and I'm afraid I'll fall off into the water (which is quite close, but it's kind of brackish and it would still be unpleasant). He goes ahead of me to show me and then he ends up falling into the water. I jump in a split second later to rescue him, and dive down to where he went down and pull him up. Then I start to go down myself but kick to the top. We both drag out on the bank (the other beach-goers there don't seem to pay much attention).

Then we start climbing up a different way. This time, FINALLY, we see the parking lot with the car. My husband asks me, "you left the Honda at work, right?" I say no, I left it at my apartment. He says this is okay. This is rather odd since it's my car in the parking lot above, and we don't have a Honda anyway. Just when we get to the top I suddenly realize I don't have my purse. I don't know if I lost in the water or what, but i Have to go back for it. He complains but I insist I am not leaving it here to get lost or stolen. So I climb back down the hill. Luckily it's just sitting where I dropped it at the bank. When I go to get it, I spill my canvas bag and so I have to stop and pick up all that stuff. He comes down to help me. There are tons of things in there, a whole set of knives (dirty), Strange flat water bottles, etc. All our supplies for the trip I guess. Finally we get everything picked up, under the impassive eyes of the other beach goers, and head back up.

Snow Whales

Tuesday morning, July 1

In the later part of the dream, I wake up in bed with my husband. We are both half asleep. J-, a former coworker, comes into the room, he's all excited and wants me to get up and look at the snow. I groggily get out of bed and look out the window. I am wearing a long nightgown and a scarf. It has indeed snowed, over a foot. He is gleeful and jumping around. It's not clear or addressed how he ended up in our apartment early in the morning, he says he came to tell me this so I don't have to go to work. Out the window I can see that much of the snow however has melted, I don't think the roads will be impassible. I walk towards the other end of the apartment to check in at work on my computer. I pass a room with my lead, S-, in it at her desk. She lives in my building, in my floor (actuallly it looks like she lives in my actual apartment, and that her home consists of a desk, but she doesn't). I wonder how I'm going to be able to call in "snowed in" to work when she's in the same place, it's going to be a giveaway. I go back and try to prod my husband to get up, he is sleepy. I go out to look at the snow, with J- hopping along besides (why is he here?) He points out some whales that have come. There is a large body of water, possibly a river, behind my apartment which is also all snowy, and a number of small black whales. I think they are killer whales at first but he says they are some other kind (I don't remember the kind). They are colored sort of like killer whales though. One of them has two oddly shaped mouths on its belly.

Jumping From Old and Bad to New and Scary (and maybe Good?)

Thursday night's/Friday morning's dream - 6/27/2008

This dream is long with several "sections." I think the first section is "connected" to the latter parts but I'm not %100 sure... the other parts are definitely connected though. There was a lot more detail to the first part and it was much longer than appears here, but I couldn't remember enough of the minor details.

At the beginning of the dream, I am no longer married, and it's been a while. What has happened to result in this (divorce? death?) isn't really addressed. I am at my parents house. My cousin expresses interest in me and keeps inviting me over, etc, I find this extremely distasteful. Other people in the family seem to support this though and think we will end up together Finally I just tell him I'm not ready for anything (really I can't imagine anything more disgusting) he is disappointed but leaves me alone. There is more involving him preparing a room and loaning me a book which has been given to him by some relatives (I don't remember what it was called but it was something about sex) but I can't remember all the details.

In the same section of the dream, our neighbor B-, shows up and is visiting the family at Grandma's. He looks younger with dark hair and beard. He sits down on the couch squished right up against me which makes me very uncomfortable. My mother asks lightly why doesn't he come sit by here, as she can see that I don't like this, but he says no, he is going to sit by me because I'm the only one that is single. I really dislike this. Also for some reason everybody else is calling him Charles, and this confuses me because this is not his name.

My overall feeling in both parts of the first section is of distaste and disgust, unhappy with the way people are interacting with me, their approaches repulse me.

The middle section... I am walking across a high, open place, maybe on top of a hill. I come into a very large, white room. It has huge windows all across one wall which look out over a cliff, very high up. Another woman is in the room, maybe someone I know, I don't remember. She is also dressed in white. I may be as well.

As she turns away to exit at one side of the room, I walk quickly across the room. I don't want her to see me come in because she will stop me. I open one of the giant windows. I want to jump out. I am dreaming lucidly at this point, that is, I'm aware that it's a dream and I seem to be able to control my actions to some extent. I hesitate but I tell myself, this is a dream, I'm not suicidal, I can jump and I will not die. But the other woman doesn't know this, she will misinterpret my actions. So when her back is turned I quickly step outside the window. I stand on the edge looking down. I remind myself this is a dream, brace myself, and jump. I am falling, falling, and I can feel the falling and am a little scared.

Then I land at the bottom of the cliff, unharmed. It is a narrow strip of beach and the tide is washing in all the way up to the base of the cliff when the waves come up. I start walking along on the narrow strip of beach, dashing between waves, or wading through the shallow water when the wave retreats. There is a small beach town in the distance which I am walking towards. In between the waves on the beach I find a giant shell, sort of like a clamshell but very large, at least 8 inches across and 5 deep. The two halves are separated but they fit together. The color is amazing and like nothing I have ever seen before, it is metallic gold and shimmering with all different colors. After wondering at it, I stop and pray, please let me keep this shell once I wake up, just this one, that's all I'll ask for.

A short time later: I end up staying in the house on the beach, at the town I was walking towards.. I'm not dreaming lucidly anymore just regular dreaming. The house is sort of similar to my apartment layout except there are several floors. It's also more richly and nicely decorated. I believe it belongs to my mother or she is renting it, or it belongs to friends of hers. I come in in the evening and my sister is laying on the couch, possibly asleep. I don't say anything to her. When I get up again in the morning and go into the kitchen she is still on the couch, but I sort of pretend not to notice she is there and start puttering in the kitchen. Eventually I look through the "window" between the living room and the kitchen and see that she has her eyes open and is reading or something. I say, "Oh! I didn't know you were there. When did you get here?" She says she has been there since last night and I say sorry, I didn't know she was there (I'm not sure why I'm claiming this). She seems slightly annoyed that I didn't see her.

Later on, I have gone out somewhere with my sister and I go back to the beach house alone. Some cleaning people are going to come or are already there and I'm supposed to pay them. Somehow I have already looked up that they only accept cash, and they don't charge up front but they will charge you an hourly fee when the cleaning is done.

I go in a ground-floor door to get something, quietly, I don't know if they are there yet. I'm supposed to be keeping the floor clean, it has a white carpet, but I look back and see that my boots have made large, muddy, wet tracks on the carpet. I quickly grab some paper towels and try to sort of soak up the footprints, then I look up and see that the cleaning people are there and they are already almost done.

There is a woman probably 40 or so with dark hair, and a younger man closer to my age with brown curly hair. They are very friendly and tell me not to worry about the footprints, they will get them. I apologize profusely. While they are finishing up, I gather up the stuff I need, I have a white scarf with a bright pink pattern on it that I really like, and I put it on and dress to go out. I come out and also lay out another scarf I have, which has a multi-colored pattern on it with scenes of rivers, boats, and stylized jumping salmon. It also has metallic color patches in places.

As I wait, the cleaning people talk to someone from the house next to us. She pays them and the woman gives her some kind of gold pin. Then they come talk to me. The woman takes me aside and lays a very large gold and silver decorative pin on top of the metallic scarf that I have laid out on the table. It matches perfectly. I want to refuse such an extravagant gift but I know she gave a token to the last people they cleaned house for, so maybe it is their custom. She then explains the pattern of the scarf for me, explaining what it symbolizes in my life, sort of like a fortune teller. She mentions a trip.

Then I talk to her and the young man about payment... I ask timidly if they will accept a check, as I heard that they would only accept cash. But I have just realized that I don't have enough cash, I spent most of it for lunch at a place which also only took cash. I am very anxious and somewhat ashamed as they have already cleaned. They both smile at me and say they will accept my check. I tell them it's not a local check (I don't actually live in this beach house usually of course) and they smile and say it is okay. I can't understand why they are being so nice to me, it's clear I'm getting special treatment, but I'm confused, though flattered. The guy is flirting with me too, and I like him but I'm not sure if they are for real. I ask them how much they charge per hour, and they say that I don't have to pay anything. I insist and they smile and ask what I think is a reasonable price?

I am flustered, I don't know what to say or what is reasonable, I don't want to name something too low... if I name something too high will they bring it down to what they want, or will they take it? Maybe this is a trick they use to get more money? They seem like they are being so nice to me, so I decide I will name a high amount that I'm sure is over (something like 50 dollars/hour) and if they don't bring it down I'll just eat the difference. But they laugh and won't take this price either, and they keep saying that it can be free, just for me.

My feeling in the later part of the dream here is of confusion and anxiousness (over the paying issues) but I'm also pleasantly suprised and pleased at how they are treating me and how nice they are being, especially the guy (even though I find this confusing too... do they really just love me or is there somethign else going on that I don't know?).

Little Fire On The Prairie

Wednesday night/Thursday morning (6/26)

I had two dreams from this night that I remembered very clearly until I was just getting ready to write them down, and somebody said something that annoyed me. Poof! The first dream was gone just like that and I haven't been able to remember anything else about it since. I was myself in it, though. So here is the second dream:

I am "Laura" in the "Little House" series. We arrive to the prairie for the first time. There is a long straight line of the edge of a woods with tall trees on the prairie next to where we are going to put our house, and I quite surprised. I point out this to my father (Pa, in this case), saying I didn't realize that there would be woods here. The woods is different though, the trees have no low branches and the space between them is clear, like the rest of the prairie.

A little bit later we become aware of smoke coming from a neighbor's house up on a huge hill nearby. We run towards it. As we get closer we join lots of other people running in the same direction. When we get there the house or barn is well on fire and we are all coming to help, although what exactly we are supposed to do I don't know. My mother (Ma) tells me to go get on a cart. There is a cart with a bunch of stuff and people in it pulled by two large tan oxen. She tells me to drive it over the edge of the hill, where it will be safe (this is both something I can do to help, as a young child, and a safe place for me, apparently). I climb onto the cart and drive them, they are eager to run and they go over the edge of the hill, which is a huge cliff. This is what I'm supposed to do, however. I am concerned as the cart tips forward rather than staying level and lands in a crash at the bottom, breaking a bunch of stuff. But everybody is happy, only one occupant of the cart was killed as a result of the fall, and I've gotten it away from the fire.

I remember being aware of several incongruities in this dream as it was happening, such as things that didn't match the actual books or even logically things, but I dismissed them because this "wasn't really the book". The level of awareness wasn't quite to the point of realizing this was a dream but it was more than usually occurs in dreams.

A Reunion But It's Not Him

Tuesday night/wed morning (6/25)

I am at my apartment and my old friend S- and his brother M- are coming to visit. I am anxious and nervous about this. I have not seen S- for a very long time and I don't know if I still have feelings for him or not. His brother M- arrives first and sits on the couch and talks to me for a long time. He doesn't look anything like he did when I saw him before. He acts like he knows me but really I never knew him very well. His face is haggard and he is sort of melancholy, but tries to cheer me up. He talks about me and S- (who will arrive in a bit) and says that he always knew we would end up together, so I shouldn't worry, we will be together eventually. I say that I doubt that. He says don't worry, it will happen, you're meant to be together. I said you are forgetting, I'm married now, and show him my rings. This doesn't seem to change his mind though (or the fact that this may not be what either of us want).

S- comes in but he sits far at the other end of the couch, facing slightly away so I cannot see his face. Now that he's here I feel excited and a little scared, worried, with butterflies, like I used to feel when I was around him, but more nervous because it's been so long (and I'm not really supposed to be meeting him anyway). I jump up and prepare stuff in the kitchen, trying to clear away ants that have come in. Eventually he joins me in the kitchen. My excitement fades though as he goes about preparing some food, because he doesn't look right anymore. When I first saw him he did, but now he looks more like AM-, another person I used to be friends with, and I find him not at all appealing. I'm a little dismayed by this and eventually I decide it's not him at all, and I am not happy to see the other guy. He's acting all friendly and like we are still friends, and pretending to be S-, which makes me mad.

Moderately Bad But Vague Straits

First I am preparing with somebody else, possibly my sister, to go to a dance or some kind of party. This preparation takes a long time... adjusting hair, clothes, makeup, etc. I'm not really looking forward to it either and am very nervous.

Then after we get there I think, the dream morphs briefly into being about the house itself. There are two people in it, a husband and wife, and the house is somehow evil and possessing them. It talks to them, starting with the wife, and calls her on the phone. When it talks to them it uses the voice of the other person (but they know it's the house) and it causes them to start behaving strangely. The house is interested in them in a way houses normally are not, and it has sinister overtones.

Change of scene, I am now at college. I am moving my meager belongings into a small apartment (I guess it's dorm housing but it looks like an apartment). While I'm putting away things in a kitchen with lots of wood paneling, my assigned roommate arrives. She is a bit spacey and we talk a bit, I am hoping she will be nice. As we talk about ourselves to get to know each other it comes out that she is a party animal and likes to be fairly wild. I'm kind of disappointed thinking this won't work out so well. I offer to show her around the area, at any rate (the location seems to be somewhat like where I live now). I start talking about the grocery store and how good it is, then go into talking about the other grocery stores in the area and how they rank. Then I offer to take her next door and show her the grocery store, which is very close. I can tell after I say this that she is thinking a grocery store tour or any enthusiasm about it at all is fairly lame. She says that maybe she'll check out the store later. Then she goes out onto the front porch and runs into my sister, and I see them talking. For some reason she really likes my sister, and she pops in later to say that she is going to the grocery store with my sister. They leave. I'm somewhat bummed out about this and feeling sorry for myself, I wash the dishes.

Now I'm finished with college and I'm living at my parent's home again. This is the largest cohesive period of the dream. We are sitting out on the front porch when 5 or 6 people come up the trail, they appear to be Muslim. They call out asking if we have read the pamphlets they left here last time (before I came home from college) and if they agree or disagree with them; they would like to get together to discuss. One of the women walks up to me, grabs my hand and shakes it rather roughly, and tells me that my faith is suffering. I am quite offended by their methods, and I tell them so. I pat her roughly on the shoulder right back, resulting in rather wide scared eyes, and tell her is that anyway to treat another Muslim? And I tell her she should not be proselytizing and dropping off pamphlets, this is not the way of Islam. And she should not be marching up to people telling them they need to get their faith in shape. Is this any way to behave? This is not following Islam. She should take a gentle approach and they should not be proselytizing people leaving pamphlets, this is something that I despise about various christian relgions. I go on ranting for quite some time, although I don't know if I really get through. They ask again if any of us want to get together to discuss the material in the pamphlets, which I DO NOT, and then hurry away, somewhat afraid of my outburst. I'm quite out of sorts about the whole thing.

Later I am inside and I see a small book in a slipcover on the shelf. The cover looks like sort of an imitation (but not an actual imitation, just trying to look similar) of Calvin and Hobbes. I kind of glance over it and ignore it. My brother asks to borrow some more money, for a car or something, and I reluctantly loan it to him after he pleads about how he doesn't have any and he just needs this to get started. This is not the first time in the dream. Later (time has passed) my father comes in, he talks to me about how he has decided he has to add a children's book to his book collection to finally make a well rounded offering in order to sell pictures. He has already written one but nobody (relatives he's shown it to) thinks it's a good one to use. I ask to see it and he goes and gets the book I saw earlier. When I look inside I see that the cover was not related really and it's a sort of comic strip in color about some animal characters. One of them is a penguin, I don't remember the other one (maybe a small bear?). I take it to go read through it, quite enjoying it. Although I'm not sure if a very young child would appreciate all of the jokes, I still think it's good. I also use the computer for a bit. I have a spreadsheet which includes how much money my brother owes me back by now, which is 1500 (accumulated over several months). It's not really clear why I'm living at home again but I seem to be set up with my actual bed and a desk and computer, and have been there for some time now in the dream.

I am out in the kitchen later washing up and my brother and father are talking, and my father asks my brother how much he has saved up from his job. My brother says 4500. I turn around exclaiming, then why haven't you paid me back yet?? You said you didn't have anything. My brother is somewhat embarrassed and makes an excuse. Then my father asks me after my brother has gone, how much he owes me. I explain that he now owes me 1500 but I thought he didn't have anything, and now I find out that he does but hasn't paid me! My father says he will pay me the money and my brother can owe him, he doesn't seem to like the idea of my brother borrowing money from me, something to do with the situation I'm in now (again I'm not sure what situation that is but it seems to have resulted in me moving back home). I offer to show my father the spreadsheet on the computer, but he says there is no need. He starts looking through things inthe house, presumably for some money he has stashed away, but he doesn't end up finding it. Then he asks me to join him "down the stairs". This confuses me becuase there are no stairs and at any rate he's out on the porch. I try to get him to explain but eventually chock it up to not understanding. We walk down the trail. I tell him that I'm enjoying the book, although I haven't finished it yet, and I think it's quite good. We end up going over to my aunt and uncle's house accross the way, which is mildly surprising to me, but I decided he must be keeping some money there with my uncle from his book sales. This is in fact hte case.

It is quite early morning now, I realize, and my aunt, uncle, and cousins are getting breakfast together. I join them in the kitchen while my father talks to my uncle and goes upstairs, presumably to get the money. There is a large pan of flatbread in the oven and it is pulled out so everybody can take some. My uncle asks me about the money thing and I explain briefly to him. My brother is there in the kitchen too, somehow. He helps himself to the flatbread, but he is touching multiple pieces and biting some and putting them back, which I reprimand him for. My uncle hands me a piece of bread which he has eaten part of. I am confused. He points out that the edges are all burnt (he's just showing me, not expecting me to eat it, it turns out). He complains that nobody can cook the bread like he likes it here, they always burn it. It is indeed true and some of them are very burnt, but my aunt and cousin look grumpy about him mentioning this.

In fact my brother has never borrowed money from me but someone else does owe me that exact amount and probably is not going to pay it back, which has caused a lot of grouchiness from me, at myself too for lending it (again).

Overthrowing the Bad People

6/22/2008 Saturday night's dream

This dream follow the life of a guy who is living in some kind of communist/big brother type oppressive regime, in an undetermined (and specifically not mentioned) country. I am basically his character. It starts when he is just a kid, the 3rd or 4th boy in a family of seven children, and follows as he grows up, which goes on for some time but I can't remember most of that part of the dream. The last part is the clearest, which was just before I woke up. In the final part, he and a group of others break into this heavily guarded control building, which is mostly concrete and with many individually sealed rooms that have to be broken through. They get into the radio system and broadcast a message that the people are uprising, and they are the guards that have been sent to suppress them, to first evade capture. Then the evil people start coming from the other direction, they fight them off. At one point they have broken into a room, when a guard enters from the other side and sees them, they slam the door to the room and lock it, and the main character tells another person to flip the switch, it heats the room up to an unbearable degree. But the door isn't locked as he told her to do, and when he stops holding it shut, the person starts to force their way out, with a great heat which would kill them all. He manages to slam the door on the guy's head and lock it, it severs the head. There's a lot of gory fighting of this nature as they valiantly make their way in, after all these years of secret organization. When they are able to reopen the incineration room (which was designed for punishing citizens or people who broke in, presumably), they grapple with even more guards. Then they break their way through to wear regular populations are held inside. They have the idea to broadcast the message about the uprising again, as they are fighting, but this time the common people hear it and it gives them the energy to rise up themselves, thinking others of them are rising up, and thus at this turning point our heroes are able to overthrow the guards and with the help of everybody else rising up together, take control of the facility.

Clutter Cleaning and A Morphing Baby

6/20/2008 - Thursday night/Friday morning's dream

First I had agreed to look after my riding instructor's farm while she was away, but then before I got out there, there was a lot of severe flooding and the road became impassible. Also it was quite far away from where I live now so I don't know why I agreed to it in the first place. I drove out to where the flood waters were and contemplated going around them, but I decided it was impossible and went back to my parent's house, feeling guilty for not being able to get out there. I think I also went over to the chicken yard, it was still pouring rain and there were a lot of wet chickens and cats.

Then, I went to some very old house-combo-barn with my mother and brother. The owner of the house was selling it and they needed to get rid of all their stuff, and for some reason my mother had agreed to get it ready for sale (I think the person was a friend of hers). But getting it ready for sale really meant packing up ALL the junk that was in the house, presumably putting it in boxes, and doing something with it (selling it maybe? the person said she didn't want it). The entire place was top to bottom full of knickknacks, almost impenetrable, along with everyday living items like food and dishes in the cupboards and furniture. The furniture was staying to be sold with the house but the rest of it had to go. There was an adjoining part of the house that I think had people still living in it, but they weren't there at the moment.

We picked our way through, not even sure where to start. I stepped into one room sort of like a barn loft (maybe it was a barn loft) and the floor was so old it simply gave way, with me on it. It fell slowly, luckily, and I didn't fall off but fell with it and landed on the floor below on top of the piece of floor that had given way. I was without injury (my mother and brother yelled helpful comments as I fell, like "lean back to keep your balance!"). There were also a lot of cats in the house, of all shapes and sizes, sitting around on the furniture and in ceramic dishes and other knickknacky items. We weren't sure what to do with them either. Faced with the enormity of the tasks, my brother and I decided to find something to eat. We managed to locate some cereal in a cupboard and were looking for related items, but I wasn't sure if we were still in the half of the house where we were supposed to be packing (where they weren't going to care if we ate anything since it was all being got rid of) or in the adjoining part where people still lived. There were a lot of used dishes sitting out, which seemed to indicate the latter... we got our cereal and tiptoed back into the main part of the house to begin the task.

Then later on I am back at my apartment, I have given birth to a very peculiar baby. It is tiny, smaller than my hand, and I think oh no, it's really early, what if something is wrong? I also worry that there are some people I haven't even told I'm pregnant yet, and here I am giving birth! Then there is the appearance of the thing. It has wrinkled reddish skin as one might expect, but is shaped sort of like a dinosaur or an alien, with a long head and pointy snout and also it has long claws. I try nursing it anyway. It does not nurse very long but then it grows and changes. I nurse it some more and each time it nurses for a few seconds and seems to grow. I am happy about this and relax about its appearance because it gradually morphs into a normal sized and normal looking baby (not before my eyes, the change is not perceptible while watching it, it just seems to happen). But then, it keeps growing. It grows into a girl who is at least 8 if not older, and clothed. She has black straight hair bobbed at her ears and is slightly chubby. I am surprised that she looks so old already, and she talks to me in a matter of fact way.

The Ache of Emptiness and Comfort

Wednesday Night/Thursday Morning - Last dream series of the night

I am in college in class. One of the classes I've been attending, which is the one I'm in now, I've been kind of slacking off on. The teacher, who looks sort of like my old math teacher from CC (but the topic is not math, it's something to do with history) plays a movie at each class and at the last class we had a paper to write in class. As I'd totally been spacing out during the previous class and the paper related to the movie, I had done pretty badly.

Now I'm back at the next class, deciding I better start paying attention and taking notes during the movie, since I'm doing pretty badly. There are 3 or 4 other people who show up for class that day, and we are seated around a long table with the far end pointing at the TV where the movie will be shown.

One of guys in class has been really irritating me, he always makes smart aleck remarks at me or acts sarcastic, and it is annoying. This happens at each class. I can't clearly remember much about how he looks now but he had shaggy light brown hair that was several inches long at least and was probably around my age or slightly older. I knew him from the class at the time, and his name, but I can't recall that either. This class I am seated at the very end of the long table, with people scattered on either side, waiting for the teacher to come in. I am slouched down in my chair, with my notebook out, feeling very discouraged and kind of depressed and unhappy, presumably about the class, but really as I've been feeling a lot lately. All signs kind of indicate to stay away from me.

Shaggy hair guy comes in and sits down next to me at the end of the table (not a usual occurrence) and makes one of his "funny" remarks as usual. I am weary, but at some level I appreciate that he does talk to me each time, there's some level of affection there I realize. There is scattered talk about having to pay attention to the movie this time becuase we'll probably have to write about it. The teacher comes in and starts to play the movie, and shaggy hair guy leans against to me very softly and rests his head on top of mine. I lay my head on his shoulder. It feels SO good I almost cry. I feel so comforted in my misery and lean back against him and we stay like that, he rests his hand tenderly on my head or my shoulder and we just lean together for the movie not really paying attention after all, or to any remarks from the teacher or others. I am aching inside with how good it feels to be held like this. The fact that I previously thought he was annoying is completely gone, and that this is wrong doesn't even matter because it touches the pain so much.

Something wakes me up at this point and I feel so empty, and want to go back to that feeling in the dream. I go back to sleep trying to get back to it, and though I end up going back to school again in the continuing dream, I can't get back to that scene or the guy.

In the continuing dream, it's the next quarter starting, first day. I am still hoping to run into him again and recapture the comfort of the previous dream. I am back at my parents house, packing up for school early in the morning, and with my are my sister and either a cousin or my brother, I'm not sure. We all get our stuff together. As we are leaving there's some altercation on the road involving my aunt and uncle and our dog. We go down to see what's going on, apparently they think he was doing something wrong and are yelling at him. He barks and another dog, a female, comes running down the hill at his call. Apparently this is also our dog but relatively new. She is a German Shepard like him, but her coat is actually white with pink vertical stripes, much like a pair of pants I used to have. She has another name but our dog calls her Cornelius. My father comes down to the commotion and I ask her if this is really her name, and he says he guesses it's the right name, as that's what the other dog has been calling her and it seems to fit.

As my father is handling the dog situation, whatever it was, we get into the car and drive into school. It's unclear what college campus this is, really, it sort of morphs between CC and EWU and this other version of EWU that has appeared in some of my other dreams. It's quite early in the morning, about 20 to 7.

My sister and I part ways in a classroom and arrange where we will meet, after some discussion we decide to meet in the "blue classroom with the cartoon characters painted on the walls". Both of us can picture and remember this room but neither of us actually remember exactly where it is, but we are sure we will find it. I can't remember where my first class is, although I know it starts at 7:30. There is an enormous clock on the wall in the classroom I'm in, where my sister and I split up, but I can't tell if it says 6:30 or 7:30. At first I think it's 6:30 but then when I look closer it appears to be 7:30. I finally ask some other people in the room, and they assure me that it is 6:30 but the clock is set wrong. I hope this is true, and I hurry off the the library to print off my schedule so I can find my first class. Hopefully it will have the same guy in it (one of the classes I'm taking is the same class, continuing the previous one, so it should).

I set off for the campus library. I am carrying a very awkward bag of stuff. In addition to my lunch and a pair of very dirty hiking boots, and school stuff, I also have 4 very large and awkward ceramic vases that I made in a previous class. I don't know why I'm hauling them around except that I'm hoping to show them to somebody, but I really am thinking I should have left them at home. I'm afraid they will break and it's very difficult to carry them all. I think I eventually decide to put them back in the van so I don't have to haul them around.

I wake up again before I make it back to the comfort of the shaggy haired guy, and I can still feel that loss in my chest. The emptiness was already there but he made me aware of it by comforting it, so when the comfort is taken away, I feel the ache more strongly.

Crossing the Glacier

Wednesday night/Thursday morning - Dream 2

After the previous dream, which was fairly short, I went to a totally different dream. In this dream I think the character who I was was actually being controlled in a game by the real me and my sister, because towards the end we started discussing what shoudl be happening next. I am a woman during some kind of ice age period. I am crossing this huge glacier. The glacier is moving at a pretty good clip, faster than I can walk, which is why I'm taking this route to begin with. But the going is somewhat trecherous, becuase caverns and cracks open and close and fold over each other, and the surface sort of moves in solid, slow waves. I am faster than these and can avoid them but it's still dangerous. There is a bear which is traveling in the same direction; we have an amicable co-existance and are reasonably friendly with each other. We also run into a couple other bears, wolves, and other animals en route. At one point I pass a small shed which is covered with snow. The wolves and other animals are gathered around it, they want me to break it open to see if there is something to eat inside. However, I don't do so because I think there might be people inside who have frozen. Then, as I come out of the glacier into just a cold wintery ground, there are some campers and trailers there with people living in them! This is very incongruous since I thought we were in prehistoric times, and my sister and I start debating if this is possible, she says she wants to keep introducing new things to keep it interesting. The dream breaks down at this point.

Strange Developments

Wednesday night/Thursday morning's Dream 1

The first dream of the night was very strange and can't be fully explained here due to its graphic nature :P Anyway I had 3 appendages which normally I would not have, which had been caused by me taking a pill for this purpose a couple months ago in the dream. The pill was supposed to cause a temporary effect, for fun, and actually I did not have a problem with it, neither did J-. However, I was standing at the FH in the bathroom, and I suddenly got to thinking... shouldn't these have gone away by now? How was I going to get rid of them by next doctor's appointment? Otherwise that would be kind of embarrassing. I wonder if the doctor's were familiar with these recreational pills. Surely they would notice that I hadn't had them before. I contemplated trying to hide them somehow, tried braiding them, but neither of these options seemed like they would work very well to conceal them.

Moving Ultrasound Date

Just remembered another dream I had last night!

I was trying to schedule an ultrasound to tell if the baby will be a boy or a girl. I went to the doctor's office and the doctor said, oh, you can have it the day after your July appt. Then they took me into another room and looked on the computer to see when the ultrasound could be scheduled. But they were all booked up through July and well into August, so I couldn't have it for several weeks after! I was suspicious becuase they were using their computer to check the ultrasound schedules, and before, I'd had to schedule it with a separate office... so did they really know what they were talking about? Then I said why can't I have it with my July appt? The doctor said this would be too early to tell and I would have to wait until the next available opening in August, which meant that my husband would not be able to come after all.

Tracking an Bad Guy around Seattle

Wednesday June 18th - Last night's dream

I had a whole series of dreams last night--the last one causing me to awake feeling depressed--but this one, which was somewhere in the middle, I remember most of:

I was trailing this person as part of my work (I guess I was some kind of detective); I think my sister was with me as well, but she was just accompanying me. The suspect, was a tall very fat man with gray hair and a beard. We followed him all over Seattle, in my car and on foot, tracking him. I think I also had to get something away from him, possibly as evidence of the crimes he'd committed, because at one point while he was at a store, I think a clothing store, we trapped him in the changing room and took some papers out of his suitcase. I struggled with him some and up until this point I don't think he knew who we were, but I had to get the papers. I had some contact by cell phone with the office that was directing me. At another point we were passing a department store in the evening (it was pouring rain) and I saw my friend H- just inside the door, looking out! I opened the door and greeted her, she was very surprised to see me but invited us back to her house. We went and may have stayed with her that night, and also helped her finish up the shopping she was doing first; she was throwing some kind of get together I think for friends of her husband and she'd had to make a lot of food, and now had to buy some other things. One of the stores we went to was a European brand which I now can't remember the name of, their logo was a large somewhat digitized image of a fly. I think the name had something to do with this. (I don't think this is an actual brand, but it was well known in the dream). It was supposed to be really good, but rather expensive... I'd not bought it but we all exclaimed when we saw it. The remainder of the dream involved continuing to follow this guy around town, staying in hotels and trailing him, and sometimes catching up to him.

A Guilt-Ridden Situation

Tuesday June 17 - Monday night/Tuesday morning's dream

This dream is set mostly at the area my parents live. My friend K- is there as well. Earlier in the dream, I have been communicating and chatting with a guy from some other country (I don't think I am married anymore in this dream, and I'm kind of depressed and unhappy). His name is Michael, apparently he is married but is very unhappy in his marriage and his wife is some kind of terrible person. He wants to meet me. Normally I would never continue such a thing but for some reason I keep talking to him, although feeling rather guilty.

Then I am up in the woods behind my parent's house, walking with K- and talking. The guy (his name is Michael) suddenly shows up! His wife, Melissa, is also in tow. She is young with short very light wispy blond hair. He has decided he wants to visit me and just shows up unexpectedly.

I am totally flustered, and now feeling this is an even more horrible situation I've gotten into. His wife of course doesn't know that he is trying to get together with me in any way other than normal, and it turns out she is a really nice person, pretty and laughing and happy. I feel absolutely awful and I wish he had not shown up, I now have no plans to do anything with him and I want to get rid of him, and I feel very guilty.

I explain this to K-, feeling overwhelmed with guilt at having started anything with this guy to begin with. K- and I had been talking about going somewhere, possibly bringing Michael along, but of course I don't want him to come now or to ever see him again. I want to go with her and escape. The event is something called "Elf" and it's some kind of science fiction or fantasy convention. Now she says though that she doesn't know if I'd actually like it and I probably shouldn't go. I just want to get away. The whole dream is depressed, miserable, and extremely guilt-ridden.

Fleeing From A Plot Against A Different Mother

Monday June 16 - Sunday night/Monday morning's dream

I was in a hospital with my mother and brother. However, I think I may have been somebody else (or in a different family) as they did not look like the actual relatives. My mother was very old, with short curly gray/white hair in the manner of my maternal grandmother, and my brother was older, and stocky. My mother was near death from some disease. My brother and I were the only surviving relatives, and we were waiting by her bedside (or alternately wandering around the hospital) for the final moments. The hospital was very open with staircases, hallways, and shiny wood floors. Her bed was in a large open room, not secluded, and no other patients were visible.

I was returning from a walk around the floor when my brother told me that she had passed away, and I could see the machine had stopped making noise. I was upset but barely had time to react before two people in black (henchmen like) sort of herded me away. I was wondering what was going on. Then a man also dressed in black bounded out of nowhere and started fighting them off, I didn't know who he was but he told me hurriedly that he was "on my side" and they were trying to do away with my mother.

Driving off the others, he then took me over to a different room where my mother was in another bed, alive and well! The pulse monitor was going strong. I said "you're not dead!" or something like that, and she affirmed, and said that this guy had told he what was going on. Then here came my brother (angry, he was one of the bad guys and was trying to have her die (even though she wasn't really near death after all) using the machine she had been hooked up to. He and the henchman burst into the room, but I helped my mother out of bed (she was a bit tottery but seemed well) and with the help of the unknown man, escaped from the room. We saw in the distance another person who looked like my mother but the man said it was a decoy dressed as her to derail our pursuers.

We escaped to the outside and began a long journey to get back home and evade the pursuers who wanted her to die of the supposed illness so my brother could capitalize on what she had left behind, and also they didn't want the story to get out of course. First we crossed a rocky garden area on a hillside.

It was very chilly out and a strong wind was blowing. I saw something on the ground like a nut as we climbed up the hill. It was moving slightly, so I bent and picked it up. It cracked open in my hands and a small plant emerged from the shell and grew before my eyes, rooting in the shell. The shell also gradually grew until it was like two large broken coconut shell halves. The small plant inside matured and bloomed and then it faded and shrank back down and then other small plants in miniature started to grow out of the bottom shell, warmed by my hands. I kept the top shell canted over them to protect from the icy wind. As I watched them I realized they were rapidly going through the seasons inside the shell, and I could hasten the coming of "spring" by blowing on the shell with my breathe to warm it up mor. They continued to grow, flower, fade, turn colors, fall and then be covered by miniature drifts of blowing snow only to repeat again. I watched this as I walked along holding it in my two hands and spurring it on with my breathe.

The next place we came to, we went up a road over the top of a wooded hill. We seemed to have collected a few other people by this time. The normal road we wanted to take had a lot of junk along it in front of a house that it passed. A somewhat crazed guy with a head like a seed pod came out in the road and started shouting at us, saying nobody was allowed to come this way, and if we did we would regret it becuase the person who lived up the road at the house would come after us. We asked how we were supposed to get through and he pointed down a side road, laughing maniacally. It had a tree fallen across it. Frankly we were suspicious that he was trying to lead us the wrong way, but we didn't want to tangle with the bad people who lived in the house so we decided to take the side road anyway. Plus we knew we were still being pursued and any altercation would slow us down. So we climbed through the broken tree and continued down that road.

We came to a small roadside inn and I think spent the night there. There was a very young girl with black hair who was having to work there apparently as a prostitute, although we saw here performing in a bawdy play with another person. The man who was with us convinced her to come with us and escape from this place. She was wary of us as well but she wanted to get out so she joined our band and we got away the next morning.

Later we came to a steep hill with treacherous slippery cliffs to climb down. There was an old house at the top but it was stocked with supplies, so we stopped to feed everyone and get food for the last leg of the journey, climbing down this cliff and then finding our way out to a town again. My mother began preparing food in the kitchen for everybody.

At this point she started to look like my mother again, which confused me and sort of cast doubt on the earlier events of the dream when they were clearly different people. Possibly as a result of the realization of this discontinuity, I woke up shortly after we started climbing down the cliff.

Computer Communications Getting Out of Hand

Last nights' dream : 6/13/2008

All I remember is there's a huge amount of back and forth chatting on a laptop. I am set up in a house sort of like my parents house, but in a different location. I am working there, and I have to keep in touch by computer. I'm covering some kind of weird shift remotely via computer just so "somebody is there" because something important is going on. This other guy I know from somewhere (I don't remember who it is now, or even if it was a real person) keeps popping up and chatting with me, bugging me and agitating for me to go somewhere or attend some event which is going on now. I think some people end up coming by the house and running around outside too, distracting me.

There was more in a later dream, but I can't recall it now.

Breaking News Interrupted

Wednesday night's dream 6/12/2008

There were two dreams or two parts to this dream. The second part was very realistic and I actually thought I'd told my husband about it after the dream (as an actual happening), but that part turned out to be part of the dream too!

In the first dream, I am back at H- Valley visiting my family. There's an indian or pakistani couple setting up a business (possibly a small restaurant or food cart) nearby in G. Mound, and there is a guy related to them who keeps talking to me. When he finds out I'm married, he's all annoyed. There's a confusing part with a small airplane or glider, which I think my sister is flying (I'm with her). She takes off near G. Mound. But each time she takes off, she has second thoughts right away and brings the plane down right away (it doesn't crash, I think it has a parachute attached), and we bail out. Then there's a part where I am standing where the creek goes under the road near my grandma's driveway. I have a bunch of flat flagstone-like rocks and I am stacking them in a row at the end of the road above the creek culvert (it was very important in the dream but I cannot remember what it was for), while the Indian guy hangs about and talks to me, before he finds out I'm married. I don't really care for him, although I like his relatives running the food stand, so I'm kind of relieved when he goes away.


In the second dream, I was visiting family this upcoming weekend. I was pregnant and planned to tell them about it. I went over to visit at my Grandma's, and my aunt and uncle were there as usual along with the rest of the family who already knew. I decided to wait until just before it was time to go home to break the news. I went got up and went to the bathroom or something, and when I came back, my Cousin K- was there on the couch. I was surprised as I thought she was out of the state and not expected back any time soon. I said something to the room at large like, "I have some news to tell everybody!" But then my cousin, who was sort of stroking her belly, said that she ALSO had some news to share with everybody, but she wanted to wait a bit! I realized she wanted to tell them that SHE was pregnant. I felt mad that this had come up at the same time, but she then asked me somehow not to say anything about my news yet, and I didn't want to "steal her thunder" so I decided to wait. After all, it didn't seem like it would really do for us both to announce at the same time and undermine each other. But I was still kind of pissed off. So then I waiting and the visit ended and we all got up to leave. When we were outside, I said, "weren't you going to tell them something before you left?" and she goes, "Oh, actually I decided to wait on sharing my news." At this point I don't know if she did this on purpose to ruin my news, or if she's even pregnant at all or just pretending! Either it was very annoying and I didn't end up telling anybody as a result, and repeated the incident to my husband later in the dream, indignant about it.

Writings and Another Look at Long-Ago Love

6-9-2008 Last night's dream

Throughout the dream I was attending a class or lecture or reading group type thing in Oly-. I was at the time in my life where I had just graduated from college, and had moved back home and was looking for a job. My brother was somewhat older than he really would have been at the time, though. Also, I sort of could look forward and back in time in the dream. I remembered and talked about living previously in my apartment at college on my own , and trying to set up a computer network (the memory and attempt weren't anything like my actual experience). Now I was back in my bedroom at my parents house. I had two computers, with different version of windows (98 and 2000) and was trying to network them, but having some difficulties. My father offered advice.

In between I went to this class, I went up there several times, driving my brother. It had already started, I don't think it was one with a beginning or end, just one that people continued to attend. My brother was being required to go by our parents. Each session was lead by a writer with some small reputation in the area and they would lecture and lead the other people through discussions. Attendees had to write assignments from day to day; sometimes they had to turn them in, other times just read them in class. My brother had been attending this for some time, but I was just sort of stepping in now as something to do. Going to and from various sessions of this was the main substance of the dream, but we went so many times and the order mixed around, so I don't know how many times or in what order all of the events happened.

On one occasion it was morning I think and we were trying to get our assignments ready. I was telling my brother than he needed to finish writing his so we could leave, but actually I hadn't really finished mine either. That is, I had written one, and hand-written the other in my notebook but it was quite messy and out of order. I didn't know if we were going to have to turn them in this time, and it would take longer for me to re-write it by hand, so I decided I better type it on the computer, and was trying to do that, as time ran out. This notebook and another one were also a recurrent thread throughout the dream. I had two spiral bound notebooks. One was normal sized and I wrote a lot of assignments in it and notes. I also had a circular one with round pages, which I wrote smaller or shorter things in. Both of them I had crammed into my backpack with a couple other books or notepads, but I kept pulling them out, reading what I'd written, and adding stuff for the various assignments.

On that occasion due to my delay (although I was kind of blaming my brother), we ended up being rather late to the meeting. A woman was lecturing this time and she wasn't as nice as the guy who had been doing it before. She had me read aloud some passage from the book they were reading, and I stumbled over it a lot. The words sort of changed order as I read, so I would read it and it wouldn't make sense, then I would look again and they would be un-transposed. And there were confused parts like "'til Till's till arrived..." which I didn't know if it was intentionally written this way, or I was just stumbling over it.

Another time we went to the meeting I remember going next door afterwards waiting for my brother, there was a small pizza shop. The owner engaged in minor chitchat and I may have had a bite to eat. The room the classes were held in and the pizza shop were both old small buildings, not in the best condition. I drove to and from all the classes with my brother in my old truck.

Another time I arrived well before the meeting was about to start. I did it on purpose because I had seen someone leaving from the class before, whom I knew. It was R-, one of my most enduring crushes (or perhaps an early love, depending on what end of history you look at it from) He also appeared in this dream. I had not seen him since he graduated, as indeed I have not in real life either. I wasn't really planning to meet him, or not meet him, I didn't have a plan, I just came early to see if he would be there.

In fact, he was sitting at the table with his characteristic suitcase. He dressed much the same but looked a little older, unmistakably the same though. I felt a familiar catch in my chest. I was dressed peculiarly, with a weird vest, and my hair was sometimes pulled back into the sort of ponytail I always tried to avoid as child, where the hair on top is in ridges and not all smooth and round. Other times I was covered. I didn't think he would recognize me. He said a few things to me as I came in but without saying he knew who I was. The table he was seated at looked rather like my grandmother's. We were the only ones there as the next group (that I was supposed to be with) had not arrived.

Then he said something to make me realize he did in fact know me. I said as much, do you remember me then? and he said he did, laughing at my assumption that he wouldn't. We talked a little. I said something to indicate a little of what I had once felt, as in fact I'd never told him I was "interested" in him, just basically stalked him. He knew! He wrote something cryptic in my notebook, to the end of that he knew that I knew that I loved him and it might have cryptically indicated that he felt something too. It was like a riddle, I can't remember it now. It made me happy. I looked back at it in the notebook several times later in the dream. I told him then, I'd fallen in love again in college and had my heart broken, and then I'd loved again and gotten married (or would get married...this part is difficult to describe chronologically because at the time the dream is set, I hadn't even gotten a job after college yet, let alone met the man who I would later marry, yet it seemed I knew about this, even though it hadn't technically happened yet in the dream). So in this way we sort of acknowledged our once-feelings, and I learned that they'd been reciprocated, but we also knew that we were on different roads now and didn't expect to make anything of it. Still I was filled with that giddy feeling whenever I thought back on it, which I did several times in the course of the dream, and looked at his note in my book.

The strongest feeling was realizing, but without bitterness of lost opportunity somehow, that he had liked me too, and he was open to it, even though things had changed for both of us. Only the sweetness of this revelation was with me in the dream, not the might-have-beens, and it made my heart happy and fluttery to recall. The writing and the notebooks went around and around everything else. I read and wrote in the dream, and repeated his poem-like shy statement over and over in my head to memorize it, but the morning light washed it away as always, leaving only a positive dull ache, a mere shadow of the feelings in the dream.

Of Waifs and Wafers

Tuesday morning 6/3/2008

A confusing dream with time loops: various segments sort of replay with variations as if we are going back and doing the same sort of things again and again, but not in time-sequential order. At some point I go to some kind of Bimart or Walmart type lower-end variety store. I am in a side room talking to a manager, or a therapist, or a dentist, or perhaps all of the above. I end up getting a prescription for something, I think tooth-related. The small office has a back door out into an area sort of near S- Hall in R-. It also has a side room filled with lots of random stuff and also the hidden "junk food stash", which I don't discover until later in the dream: lots of creme-filled cookies and such, set out for people to take but obviously in an out of the way spot so only workers in this office will see them. I keep trying to casually pass through with the idea of sampling some of the cookies. There is much driving back and forth to this store, with various members of my family at some points in time, and later with a girl several years younger than me (possibly even in her late teens) called Angelina, or something similar to that. She looks a lot like a girl I know (but not well) on a forum. She is slight, with lank black hair, a pale but pretty face, and a distraught look. She has had a hard life and is basically stuck and I am helping her out, guiding her through some issues. She goes back with me to this store and we go into the office. I don't remember what the point of keeping returning to this store was, but at any rate I get some prescription I need, possibly for dental pain. The Dr returns to this room and we decide we need to slip out. I try to slip out through the junk food room but we end up having to run away so I don't get a chance to snag a treat. We get separated (some of my family members are also with us originally and we all escape but then I can't find them. I give up on them (they will find their way) and go back to me car, and Angelina has returned to the car and is sitting in it waiting for me. Good for her! I was afraid she was going to run off and do something stupid. I get in the car and we start to drive home, but for some reason we have to stop again by the office and go get something, and that point she doesn't listen anymore but jumps out of the car and runs off. I call after her but she's scared of something and can't sit tight, so she's going to get lost somewhere.

Car Trouble on the Way to the Coast

Sunday night/Monday morning

It is the last day of work at the company I work at (which I think is not the real company I currently work at, but somewhere else). The company is shutting down so we are all ending on that day. I work there with my friend S-, my female cousin K-, and my sister, among others. When the dream opens, the work day is already over and we are leaving the building into the underground parking garage. We decide to "celebrate" or get together after work on this last day by taking a trip together out to and up the coast. After some discussion, we decide to meet up at "Mo's", a chowderhouse, and we'll stay the night at a hotel at the beach, then continue up the coast. Mo's only has restaurants at 3 towns so we try to remember which one is the most direct route from where we are (it will still be over an hour drive). We settle on meeting at the Mo's at Hecata Head (there isn't really one there in the real world, to my knowledge). My friend S- leaves first, in a very beat up old car. I was thinking we might all ride together, but then we realize that would mean somebody would have to drive me back here to get my car, so that wouldn't be good. So as it ends up we all ride separately.

Everybody makes their way out of the parking garage, I have some issues extricating my car but eventually make it out, behind everybody else. Skipping ahead somehow I am in a town somewhere along the way, having not yet reached Hecata Head, when my car breaks down. That is, I park my car outside some building, possibly to get an item of grocery for my journey, and when I come back out I realize that the back tire has disintegrated. There's sort of a foam tire insert left but the outside is all peeled away, in fact it doesn't even look driveable although I suppose I've been driving on it for a little while. Plus, it's a Sunday (why I was working or why it is now no longer evening is not explained, although I haven't actually reached Mo's yet to meet up with the others, and I don't think the drive there was supposed to be overnight... but of course this isn't an issue in the dream).

I am frustrated and annoyed. Everything will be closed, of course. I walk around for a while trying to catch a glimpse of a likely shop, a Les Schwab or something. An older woman stops in a dark car and asks if I need help, and I tell her about the car issues and if she knows of a tire shop nearby. She thinks over possible options out loud, most of which are closed, and then after some hesitation agrees to give me a ride down the street to look for one. I hop in and we drive along, we pass a Les Schwab but of course it is closed. I consider that I might be able to buy a new tire at a general store (or for that matter, put on the spare) myself, but I am hesitant to do so becuase I'm no longer with my car, but with my old mazda pickup. This truck is absolutely terrible to retrieve the spare from, it has this weird long crank that has to be threaded through a hole in the bumper to loosen a chain holding the spare underneath... it's quite a chore and not something I am relishing. Plus for some reason I think I don't have a jack.

We pass a small convenience store with a phone booth, and I ask the lady to stop so I can look in the phone book. While I'm looking at the phone book, she realizes there's some kind of tire shop just next door to us, the sign is visible through the trees. We go over and it is in fact open. Now some tire places might come and bring a tire to you but this isn't one of them, so I go back and get my truck and drive it on whatever is left, very slowly up the street and to the shop (which is not far away). The lady goes on her way, I am grateful.

At the tire shop there is a small boy running around in the parking lot, I talk to him and he runs inside. I walk inside the shop, and there is a man with 3 or 4 little kids playing around, all probably 3-5 years old and under (they don't all look like they are related to him, I don't know if they are actually his or adopted). It appears to me that business is quite slow. I tell him my predicament and ask if I can have a replacement tire put on. He says sure! It should be done by tomorrow noon. What! I am quite taken aback and a little outraged, as it's quite clear that it's not busy and it does not seem to me that it should take this long to replace a tire. Plus I need it done today so I can continue on to the meeting place. I tell him this is ridiculous, and can't he do it today. He says he can get it done today for an acceleration fee, and when I inquire as to what it is, he doesn't want to give me an estimate, saying it will vary. Eventually he comes up with $500 dollars. I am furious as he's obviously just trying to make trouble. I say I can change the tire myself in significantly less time than that, and he (unperturbed) says go ahead. Then I tell him fine, I will just buy the tire and change it myself... how much for just the tire? It is $36 and some change. I am surprised at how comparatively cheap this is considering the amount of time he wants to take for changing it, and the acceleration fee he was going to charge, but I am agreeable to this price of course.

I am expecting him to just roll out a new tire, but instead he brings out two tire pieces and a whole lot of what can only be described as random trash. He starts stuffing the new tire halves with this, and affixing them together. This takes a little while. The kids run around and try to "help." I am not exactly thrilled with the rebuilt tire, but I don't say anything. I wonder if other refurbished tires I may have purchased in the past are made this way? How long will it hold up? But frankly I don't really care, I just want to get going, badly constructed as it may seem. Eventually he finishes building the new tire and goes back inside after I buy it. I ask one of the kids if I can borrow a jack and a wrench from the shop, but the kid says Dad doesn't let people borrow them becuase they might not bring them back. I go in and explain that I just want to borrow it to put the tire on, I'm not going to take it off the premises. He agrees and gives me a jack and wrench, and assigns one of the kids to go out and watch it (so I won't steal it). I change the tire and put the new one on, but then I wake up around this time.