Crossing Flooded Stairs

11/27/2007 - Saturday Night's Dream

At one point I was walking across the city. When I set out, I put on a very colorful outfit, almost clown-like in its many colors. I was somewhat doubtful about it but I don't think I had any other choices. I crossed a large open plaza with a huge number of steps going down and up hills on either side, and steps across the bottom. It was like a deep gully filled with steps. It was sunny and warm and the stairs were nicely made of cream concrete, like on a college campus. After crossing to the other part of town, I did whatever I'd come to do (I don't remember what) and sometime later, I set out back across. I walked through an area of the neighborhood I hadn't been in before, and I saw a large white sign with red letters. I don't remember all of what it said, but it was calling this area (street, district, etc) with my name. As far as I know it was not named after me, but I thought it was an odd coincidence. I wanted to go back and tell the people I'd just been visiting, but I realized I had to get home. I thought I might come back with a camera and take a picture of the sign.

It had been raining, and possibly the river had also risen in addition to that, but when I came back to the stairs the bottom of the valley was flooded with water for a short distance, several feet deep. There were some people standing on the steps on either side but they weren't crossing. I got the impression that this happened regularly, like a tide, and they were going to wait for it to go down again. I had to get home and there was no other way so I started across the water, walking through it. Partway through it occurred to me that this was probably very dangerous, but oh well... I had to cross at any rate.

Cleaning the house of the rising sun and dropping classes

This is from a few days ago on the weekend (Saturday night, I think). I don't remember it very clearly but I haven't forgotten it fully either, so here goes.

At the part I remember, my brother has gotten a job as a janitor in a hotel which is really a thinly veiled house of prostitution. Needless to say I'm not too jazzed about this. I go there and I also discover he had dropped several of his classes, one of which I "traded" to him somehow. I had been enrolled in a class about spiders, and I somehow gave my spot in the class to him, along with the reading materials I had from it so far. This included a pamphlet with a large spider on the front, and possibly some actual or fake tarantulas. I was most put out that he had abandoned this class as well.

Visiting a Park with a Holy Cliff

Last night's dream (Monday night/Tuesday morning) 11/20/2007

I went with my husband to a famous park and we spent a long time exploring it. It had beautiful thick woods and abrupt gulleys, and we found a small canyon cut 15 feet deep in the mud of the streambed, as if a flood had come through and filled up the valley with mud at the water had cut it down again. It seemed to be summer or spring time and there were lots of small plants growing and white flowers. To continue our exploration we got a guide. Several were available, ours was a young girl with bobbed blond hair and a red and white shirt. She was friendly but not flirtatious, and I did not feel jealous of her and was glad we had gotten her and not one of the male guides.

After this part of the tour was over, my mother, sister, and for some reason a friend of my husband and formerly of me, AM. I think there were some other relatives of mine as well. They parked their cars and we all gathered to visit the most important part of the park, which was a holy place. The guide showed us where to go, there was a sheer rock cliff with a small ledge wide enough to drive on, and we were supposed to drive out. Some of my relatives I think drove a vehicle, and the rest of us walked ahead. The shelf was only just wide enough for the car, and plunging over the edge would mean disaster (this had something to do with why it was a holy pilgrimage spot, you were supposed to have enough faith and bravery to make your way along the edge).

We came to a point very quickly where the floor of the shelf had a lump in it like a small landslide had come down at some point, and it would be difficult to drive the car over without it tipping off the edge, so we decided to leave it and walk on (it would have to be backed up along the ledge to get back too). I went out to the most important point, which was a finger of rock sticking out, and sat there for a while. The rock was sort of a pinky granite. It was very peaceful and yet exciting.

Then, we started to head back and I returned to a hotel room we'd rented nearby, but AM came back with me. My husband and relatives would be following shortly. I was uncomfortable being there with him and realized that when my husband came home he also wouldn't be happy with the situation. So, I claimed I had to go to the bathroom, and went in and stayed there until my husband and mother and sister came back, then I emerged after they walked in, and we all reunited. The sun was just setting at that point illuminating the room with a rosy glow.

The park was well-known in the dream but I don't know of any place like this or that looks similar in the waking world, let alone being some kind of pilgrimage spot.

Zatch

The only thing I remember from the dream is something called a Zatch. I think it was small and on four wheels, about the size of a loaf of bread, and rolled through the field.

Uncomfortable situations in the market

Tuesday night's dream.

I was wandering through a large, circular building with halls around the outside edge, containing shops of many kinds in indoor rooms. It was some time in the afternoon and I was killing time. I bought two large raw packages of hamburger at a butcher shop there, they were already thawed (or never frozen) and drippy, and I was somewhat concerned about not getting them back into refrigeration quickly enough. I carried them around with me throughout the remaining shops, conscious of the problems of setting them down anywhere.

I also went into a "Thai" store, where I spent a long time. It was full of small, decorative, very expensive knickknacks with an oriental look, decorative china and carvings. I hung around there for a long time looking at things, and then I picked up two pieces of flat carvings, about 6 by 8... dark panels with an etched scene. I started to walk out of the store carrying them, and the shopkeeper was on me in an instant, telling me how much they cost. I told him that I'd forgotten that I was carrying them, and clearly he didn't believe me, actually I didn't really believe myself and wondered what the heck I'd been doing. I felt quite embarrassed.

To my surprise, however, he was not angry at me, after I put them back down, he told me that they were getting in a similar sculpture to one I had been admiring, a small black and white figurine... I think I was looking for one of a cat and this was a different animal or something. He encouraged me to come back at a certain time when they would have the one I was looking for.

Then I ran into my coworker, T-. He followed along afterwards and asked me to come over to his place, which was very nearby, for lunch, which I eventually gave into. I was nervous as he was acting overly friendly and I'd thought he was married, but apparently he was divorced and "looking." I did not really want to go, but I felt he would think I was being very rude if I kept refusing. When we got there, we walked into a small entryway, which had lots of decorative knicknacks and draperies, and was rather dark. There was another person there, who was his brother, and he called him over to introduce me. He introduced me by saying it I was "the one I'd been telling you about", and that I was a Muslim. He said this with the air that this was fascinating. The brother, who was much larger, hung back and reacted to this information with an air of disapproval and almost disgust. I was made quite uncomfortable by both their attitudes (although the coworker meant well).

A money-making scheme, a sexual revelation, and a group of five

Sunday, November 11th - Two dreams from last night

In the first dream, I can only remember a few details. I had come up with a brilliant plan to sell hairbrushes built like human hairbrushes as dog hairbrushes, because I'd discovered that they worked a lot better on dogs than dog hairbrushes. Of course, they would cost a lot more than either, which was the marketing gimmick... brilliant, I thought! I gushed enthusiastically to several people and family members about my scheme. Everybody else pretty much thought my plan stunk, probably because it did.

The other detail I remember from this dream was that my sister revealed she was a lesbian. She expected me to have already figured this out, I think. At first, I was totally shocked, but then I remembered her telling me on many occasions about lesbians who approached her thinking she was lesbian, and I thought that maybe telling me about these had been her way of trying to let me know.

I'm 99% sure she isn't.
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second dream
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There is a group of 5 kids who hang out together, four boys and a girl, probably between 10 and 12 years old. They wander around the fall neighborhood, looking at the leaves and such, and pick up the pumpkins that are still good from people's yards, with the idea of reusing or selling them, dodging the neighbors that don't want them picking through their yards.

A costume contest is coming up at school, or they have to go in in costume the next day at any rate. One of the kids, a boy with thick black hair (who seems to be my primary character in the dream - I don't appear as myself) is very poor and not looking forward to this very much. However, he has a big crush on the girl and is trying to impress her and get her to notice him. The others get dressed the next day and head out to wait for the bus, wondering where he is. They find he has spent the night sleeping in a garbage can nearby, which is almost full with a layer of leaves on top, and him on top of that. He did this to be sure that he wouldn't be late that morning, and he heaves out of the can and joins them, with some kind of rudimentary costume on.

Dealing in the Desert with a Disappearance in the Snow

Last night's dream

My husband had gone on a walk in a mountainous park. It was snowy there. He didn't come back and I and my family and rescue people went out to look for him, but didn't find him. It was a forested area high in the hills, which looked kind of like where I used to live. It snowed again that night and he did not come back. I came to the realization over the next days that people did not think he was coming back, and he might be dead.

My mother, who had been staying there with me, took me back home, and we were going up to my grandma's house to visit when we saw a sign board with a brown poster on it, and my sister started crying and was very upset. At first I thought it was bad news about my husband, but it was actually a notice about a wake for an old friend of hers who had died a few months ago (in the waking world as well). I was surprised to see her so upset, because she'd already known of his death at the time it happened and had seemed sad then but not so upset. Something had happened to her boyfriend around this time as well, he was sick I think in a life-threatening way. It seemed odd that all three of them were in peril around the same time. It was when she got upset over the sign that I realized that everybody else already thought my husband was probably dead by now, since he hadn't been found.

I was sad, and worried, but not inconsolable or as upset as my sister had been about the sign, because it didn't seem real to accept the fact that he was actually dead, so I kept waiting and hoping. I drove back near the mountain area, wanting to stay nearby and not to return home until he was found, also leaving my work indefinitely to wait and find out.

I started walking alone and found myself in a deserty area, very dry and dusty, with some sage brush and desert plants. I ran into a guy about my age, taller and bigger than me, but very friendly, and I followed him back to a small town, where he lived. He was native american, and it was a native american town, but it was in a somewhat old-fashioned architecture style. The buildings were of the type covered with baked clay, with rounded edges, like in the southwest, but modern and comfortable inside. They were sandy colored on the outside and matched the desert around. I felt a little out of place walking through the town, but he and his family who lived there invited me in and I stayed and talked with them. They knew already who I was, it seemed, and that my husband was lost in the snowy mountain area (it had a name, but I don't remember which mountain it was). They were very nice and sympathetic to me. I stayed for a while, and watched TV with them, there were some issues with reception and we kept getting strange channels.

The guy I met offered for me to spend the night there, as I wanted to stay in the area and I had nowhere to go. He was very nice to me and as I got to know him, I realized that he liked me and was interested in me. I told him that I was very grateful of the offer (I was, and I kind of wanted to stay there), but I reminded him that I was married (I don't know if I said married, or engaged to be married). He said that he knew that (in other words, was not trying to get anywhere with me right now), and he looked sympathetic and it occurred to me that none of them thought my husband was coming back, they were just waiting for me to come to that conclusion as well, and provide comfort for me when I did. He wanted me to know that he wanted to be there for me when I understood that, but he wasn't going to pressure me, although he didn't say this, just showed it by his actions.

I realized that if my husband was really not coming back, I would keep hoping for a long time, and how long would it take before I accepted it? I never accept things, just keep hoping whenever something bad happened or I lost someone. This brought to mind the guy I had loved years before I met my husband, who hadn't been interested in me the same way. I had kept hoping he would change his mind, but it hadn't changed, and eventually I'd forced myself to move on. Looking back I knew it wouldn't have worked out but it had taken a long time to realize that. The nice guy who was helping me reminded me of him in some ways, but more gentle and nice to me.

I tried to think about how it would be and what I would do if it turned out I was a widow, but I couldn't get it to sink in. I spent a lot of time wandering around the area and thinking about it, and wondering if my husband would be found, as the nice guy who'd offered me a place to stay while waiting showed me around the town and the garden and such, and tried to make me comfortable.

The overall feelings of the dream were of sadness, thoughtfulness, the unreal feeling caused by shock, and also a sort of comfort, as if everything was going to keep going and be okay. When I awoke I still felt this and then I also felt guilty about it and about not being more distraught.

A bad haircut and a trip to a remote house

11/9/2007
Last night's dream

My husband cuts my sister's hair, but he does a bad job: random chunks off the back. Then he braids it into a really messy braid. He thinks it looks fine but my sister is quite upset about it and unbraids it, she apparently thought he actually knew how to cut hair.

There is some interim stuff I don't remember, and then we are all riding in a van. My husband is driving and there are several other people in it besides me. I am filled with a feeling of suppressed excitement of the other people not knowing that my husband and I are involved with each other, much like when our relationship was just getting started and our mutual friends didn't know about it, but we were together in front of them. We share various glances and touches and such, the significance unknown to them. It's cold outside and everybody is bundled up.

Later we arrive at a house, far away from anywhere. The driveway/road ends coming out of the woods, and there is a lake to the left and a large house on the bank facing it to the right. It's some kind of safe house where we are going to stay, although we don't personally know the person who lives there, we know she is expecting us. There are only two of us now, myself, an older guy who is familiar with this system, and my husband. Or I am one of the men... I think only two go up to the door. Anyway, we go up to the door. We can see through the window an older woman with short white hair sitting in an inner room, reading or working on the computer or something. The house inside is simple and modern, very large but not that fancy. This is good, we say to each other, she is home. We knock on the door, but she doesn't hear us, and keeps on reading. We keep knocking, louder and louder. There's no sense of urgency, we've reached the end of our journey and she will likely hear us at some point.

In the waking world, I recently cut my own hair (making bangs) and my husband's hair, he was happy with mine but was not at all pleased with what I did to his because it was shorter than he'd anticipated. I haven't felt that excited feeling of a secret-but-out-in-the-open relationship for a long time, it felt good but scary and I can't tell if I miss it or not.

Hilarity at work and my sister wins a parrot

11/8/2007
Last night's dream (Wednesday night/Thursday morning)

I was at work, talking to my coworker L-. Su- and A- were also around, in their respective cubes. At one point, L- looked up through the corner of her cube (there was a roof on her cubicle), and I looked down into the same hole with one eye, surprising her. We both laughed. L- was feeling sick and coughing, and I commented that she really should go home. To my surprise, she agreed. First, however, we decided to disassemble her cubicle. We took all the walls apart and parked them in stacks around the room. When we were done, I realized that I had mislaid one of the walls, and we scurried about looking for it. It was a wall with a large window set into it. At first, I thought it had ended up on A-'s wall, but when I looked at her wall she had a smaller window in it, so it wasn't the same one. Then, I found that I'd accidentally put the wall with the window in it in my cubicle, leaning up against the wall. We giggled and laughed throughout, having a good time.

Later, I went to watch an event where my sister had a chance to receive a prize. It was somehow connected with her work. When I arrived, the people up for the prize were seating themselves, they were in four rows with about 100 people in each row, sitting in folding chairs outside. Only a certain number of the prizes were available, and they would go in order to the people who arrived first (it was a pre-selected pool of people who were eligible, not just anybody).

I sat behind the recipients, and was joined by both of my paternal cousins, my former neighbor P-, and another elderly woman, older than P-, whom I introduced to my cousins as (after tripping over my tongue several times to get the relationship phrased right) my grandmother on my husband's side. I was talking to P- and the grandmother-in-law before my cousins approached, and I made a lightly disparaging remark about one of them as we saw them approaching. Everybody had gathered here to take part in the special occasion for my sister.

The prizes were awarded and we could see this by the indication of a bright color for each person who got it along the rows - I don't remember if this was a piece of cloth or paper passed out or what, but it was evident from a distance as it rippled along the rows. It had the air of a graduation. I couldn't tell if my sister had gotten it or not. She came back and started telling us about it, however, so I guess she did. The prize was an amazonian parrot which was being taught how to speak, she would get to keep it or take part in the lessons in some way. We were all very excited. I asked if it was learning English, and she said no, they were being taught Arabic, because it was easier for them to begin on. They would start out with 4 letters only (R, K, L, and M I think), and they would be able to approximate most words this way. All of us were very excited about the whole thing.

As we left the event, I was walking with P- and one of the others in the group, either a cousin or the grandmother-in-law, went into this large building that we passed. It was made of heavy wood, and looked old and solid, like a large barn. We only realizes that one of the party had gone inside as we walked passed and realized that person was no longer with us, they'd gone in by accident. We waited at the other end for a few minutes but they did not come out. P- said we would have to go in and get them. We opened the door on that end, which was large and closed with a mechanical metal latch, and went into a small dusty room, which led off to a hallway and a lot of other rooms. P- went into the interior while I waited there, to check it out. When she came back she was talking about what a terrible place this was, and how disgusting, and I got the impression that it was a house of prostitution. We would have to go in and get the person out as they must have been detained by someone else in the house. I spent a lot of time opening and closing the latches on the doors leading in and out of the room we were in, and observing how they worked, then I woke up.

In the waking world, L- has indeed been sick for a couple of days but never goes home when she is sick. I've never met my husband's grandmother and actually I don't think either of them are still alive. P- was a lot more active in the dream than she probably is now, and after I woke up I realized that I should call her again and give her my new address.

Strange sinks and wandering

11/7/2007 - Tuesday night's dream
I can only remember a few isolated scenes from this dream.

In the first one I am in a large building with tiled floors and several levels, sort of like a school building, with my sister. We walk around up and down stairs to different floors. We go into a bathroom. It's jam packed with other women waiting to use it, but when I get to the start of the line I realize that the toilets look like two sinks, very high. The one on the right is smaller than the other and becomes available next. I consider my options and how I am going to squeeze up there next to the person on the other sink. The sinks are not only next to each other and not separated by stalls, but basically visible to everybody else waiting to use the bathroom. I eventually decide that I'm not even going to try because I wouldn't be able to relieve myself in this situation, and I make my way out. We find another bathroom eventually.

Unlike most bathroom dreams, I didn't wake up directly afterwards and didn't have to go when I woke up

In the later part of the dream, or the second dream, I am walking around a rural area which is sort of like where I grew up in vegetation, but nowhere I know. The area looks kind of like the end of the road where I grew up, with lots of plants, and a creek, but nearby there is a small neighborhood built on a slight hill. I walk up through the residential area, which is somewhat hilly but not steep. There's also a nearby wooded area with an old flat wooden bridge across the creek. I think I am looking for someone who has run away from his home (as in, he was angry and stormed off and started walking), a boy younger than me, not in my family. I think I meet up with him. It might also have been me that ran off ... it fades back and forth. A cat or kitten is involved at one point or is out there with me.

To be in a play or not to be in a play

11/6/2007 - Most recent dream of last night/this morning
I had at least three dreams last night but they are all pretty hazy by now, although I remembered them briefly after each one. This was the one I could remember enough of to describe, and was the last one before I woke up.

I was with a female companion, not sure if friend or relative, and we were walking around downtown P-. We heard there was a contest going on for play writers; they would each come up with original short plays and "play off" against each other for the best one, who would get a prize. We were uninterested in the idea, putting it down.

Then, we run into one of my coworkers, J-. He is very excited and tells us about how he has entered the contest and is putting on a play that day, and needs our help as extras in the cast. Will we do it? It'll be fun! In a switch from my early attitude, I agree. We set off, we are now in my apartment building (which doesn't look much like mine, and is closer to downtown, but it's where I live in the dream.

As we head out, J- asks hesitantly if I want to change before we go. I suddenly realize that I am just wearing jeans and a tee shirt (striped pink). My hair is uncovered and is cut in a bob (which it was last cut like when I was 17, and before that I wore it that way when I was 12-13). I say yes, and hurry back to my apartment, as they wait in the hall.

As I'm coming in the door, my cell phone starts ringing, but I don't get to it before it goes to voicemail. I check the display, and it's my husband. I will call him back as soon as I get my clothes on, I hurriedly dress. Just as I finish, though, I hear the key in the lock and he comes in. He has run into the others in the hallway and they told him of the plan, and he is angry about it. He tells me that I am not going to be in the play, and asks why I didn't tell him/call him back, etc., while I attempt to offer excuses about how it's just for fun and how I was just going to call him and tell him when he walked in.

Overall mood:
In the earlier part of the dream I felt disinterested, mocking the play. Then, when I was invited to participate, I was excited, and felt daring, but a little apprehensive of my husband's reaction (although I planned to tell him, I delayed it). I anticipated him to be angry and react the way he did, although I sort of imagined if I'd been able to explain it first, I might have gotten away with it. When he was angry and said I couldn't go, I was also angry and unhappy, although fearful of his reaction as he acted like I'd been hiding something.

Trapped by a stranger's crazy mother

Monday, November 5th 2007 - Last night's dream

I was at a class or meeting of some kind, and some people had made an apple cannon, which they were firing off to great fun and general excitement by all. During the activities, I met someone and got invited to their house for dinner and to spend the night. I accepted. Afterwards I realized that my new friend was a boy about 12, which it occurred to me in the dream was a little odd (I may have been younger in the dream but it still struck me this way, because of the age difference, not because there was any flirting going on, which there was not). At any rate, I had already accepted since I felt more uncomfortable about backing out than the odd choice of friend, so off I went to his house in Ol- or L-, where he had a large, happy, friendly. and welcoming family. There were several other kids and I no longer felt particularly uncomfortable, and engaged in chitchat and games with the family.

We had dinner, and then as the evening wore on his mother sort of became unhinged. She had started out very friendly and bubbly, happy and energetic. Then she started to get angry and crazy, although still with a smile on her face. His mother had dark reddish brown hair, straight to her shoulders, and heavy, shaped matching eyebrows, and I think green or dark eyes. She was young and petite, probably in her 30s. Her face was angular and would have probably been attractive if it wasn't for the crazed expression that developed. She started loudly shooing people around the house, and declared that it was "no doorknobs time" and we had to keep all the doors open, and several other pronouncements that I no longer remember, and started to get scary.

The boy who I'd come with was short, with light brown hair in a bowl cut. I discovered that his hair covered a deformed ear that had been cut or damaged in some way by his mother during one of her crazy sessions. He and the other kids and the father acted as if they'd seen this behavior before, and worked around it. It was clear that they didn't like it and were scared of her when she got like this, but they didn't know what to do.

The hidden side of her either became apparent in the morning or I ended up staying the night anyway because I couldn't escape. In the morning I was in a small room which they'd made up for me to spend the night in, getting dressed. I was hurriedly getting clothes out of my overnight bag and packing everything else. I realized that somehow I was going to have to gather up my various things that were left around the house without the mother noticing that I was trying to leave until I had everything and could make a break for it, there would be or already had been an effort to keep me captured here.

I had the door partly closed, but not shut, and was trying to put on a bra, but none of them would fit. There were two in my bag that were brand new, which I'd bought the night before at the mall nearby. One was black with a black pattern, and the other was light green with a pattern of tiny dark green leaves. The problem was, both of them were too small, which was confounding since they were brand new. I frantically rooted through the overnight bag--I seemed only to have dressy clothes, like a black skirt and black pantyhose, that would take too long to throw on and escape. I was also supposed to have my TaeKwon-Do suit in there, because I was supposed to go to a workout later (which might also have been my excuse for leaving them, I didn't really want to go to it but I did want to get out of here any way possible), but I realized that somehow I had not packed it.

As I struggled to get dressed, the mother burst in with a crazy glint in her eye and said she THOUGHT she had announced that it was no doorknobs time, wasn't that right? I tried to make excuses that the door had not actually been closed, but she started yelling about no doors or locks, and called on one of her young daughters to back her up. The girl was 6 or 7, with light blond hair, and she was too young to realize that her mother was off her rocker, things like no doorknob time were apparently normal to her (the mother although striking fear into my heart still had a "happy" face frozen on). She sent her daughter around removing knobs and doors, ranting maniacally, as I frantically continued dressing, trying to figure out a way to get out of there.