Life is but a dream: Midnight Meander

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Midnight Meander

Due to general life upheaval, my dreams (and sleep) have been extremely fragmented and/or disturbing for a while... so no posting. Now they begin to resume some slight coherency.

8/20/2008 (approximate)

Most of this dream remains elusive. The part I remember is: I am younger, living at home. I slip out of my room at night and walk down to the chicken yard in my nightgown/bathrobe. It is a very bright night, possible due to a full moon. I enjoy wandering around in the nighttime. Then I see my father coming down the trail, and I run to hide as I'm not supposed to be out. I duck into some tall grass at the other side of the chicken yard and crouch down. As it turns out he has already seen me and calls me out, I am afraid I will get in trouble but I don't think I do.

Later in the dream I am climbing in a tree with my sister. We are still young, maybe early teenagers at this point, but I am still pregnant.... the placement in time is incongruous. She takes my foot and pushes it against her stomach and after a bit I realize she is telling me she is pregnant, too. I am surprised but not unhappy, then I realize that she is really further along than I am and will have her baby first, but she has been keeping it a secret. Maybe it's because she is not happy about it or doesn't want to tell the father. I congratulate her, but I don't think she is still going to tell anyone else.

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I have always been fascinated by this other, intangible world into which we retreat, the reality and origins of which are so unknown, so mysterious. It is like a portal into which you can pass into another dimension, a mysterious forest you can ride through to reach Babylon, a lost valley of Brigadoon that comes almost every night, not every 100 years.

Linear time and space are twisted here, analogy is rife but sometimes indecipherable, action often skips to action with many of the boring spots removed, like a fast-paced movie. Feelings and senses are intensified, yet in some ways protected. Although there is no limit to exploration, it is yet not a place where you can choose to do anything you like... you are constrained by certain rules and limits which surely must be self-imposed (we assume, since we imagine we are the only "real" person in this world) but if so, why can we not mold them? This is so similar to the perspective of the waking world that it tests the very nature of reality. And though certain things are clearly connected to or inspired by the waking world, (and perhaps vice versa), there are also those elements, even people and places, which exist only in the dream life... where did they come from?

I know when I write down my dreams I tend to remember more of them, so I choose to do that again now, for better or for worse.

Only in my dreams...

In addition to the dream life being inhabited by persons, places, and memories that don't exist in the walking world, I also sometimes encounter, use and understand words in my dreams that don't exist in the waking world, and maybe they should. Here are some that I both remembered the word and meaning of it upon awakening:

Artigate: verb. To show an idea through means of art, often combined media. For example, a movie might use a scene with with the sun rising and music swelling to indicate to the viewer that a character has died. My sister used this in a dream when talking to me.

Carules: noun (plural). This means something like "love points," all the energy and resources that you use to demonstrate or show love. My cousin and I used this in a conversation in this dream, where he asked hypothetically if I how I would spend 1000 carules (not as in money, as in energy/effort) if I had that many, to show someone that I care for them more than anything in the world. 1000 was an extremely large amount to have, people would not really have that many.