Life is but a dream: Bad Situation Gets Worse

Friday, August 22, 2008

Bad Situation Gets Worse

Another dream from last night, which I just remembered

I am talking to my friend H- about the issues leading to the breakup of my marriage, much as in real life the night before, except we discover through talking to each other that he had been having an affair with her! She didn't know it was him having never actually met him (the fact that she is also married and cheating in this scenario didn't seem to present a problem in the dream). But in talking to each other about what he had done to me we eventually put two and two together. We are both outraged. I am not upset at her, just mad at him because as it turns out he was cheating too, and she is also outraged at him for having done this to me (and discovering what kind of person he is). There are lots of further details in the dream, I don't remember most of them.. it involves trapping him in his lies to us and confronting him when he goes to a place like the F- house expecting to meet her as usual. He is unpleasant and angry in the dream, but we are united in our anger and outrage against him. Lots of emotional upset, unpleasantness, and enhanced feeling of betrayal. It took a moment upon awakening to separate it back from reality (which was bad enough).

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I have always been fascinated by this other, intangible world into which we retreat, the reality and origins of which are so unknown, so mysterious. It is like a portal into which you can pass into another dimension, a mysterious forest you can ride through to reach Babylon, a lost valley of Brigadoon that comes almost every night, not every 100 years.

Linear time and space are twisted here, analogy is rife but sometimes indecipherable, action often skips to action with many of the boring spots removed, like a fast-paced movie. Feelings and senses are intensified, yet in some ways protected. Although there is no limit to exploration, it is yet not a place where you can choose to do anything you like... you are constrained by certain rules and limits which surely must be self-imposed (we assume, since we imagine we are the only "real" person in this world) but if so, why can we not mold them? This is so similar to the perspective of the waking world that it tests the very nature of reality. And though certain things are clearly connected to or inspired by the waking world, (and perhaps vice versa), there are also those elements, even people and places, which exist only in the dream life... where did they come from?

I know when I write down my dreams I tend to remember more of them, so I choose to do that again now, for better or for worse.

Only in my dreams...

In addition to the dream life being inhabited by persons, places, and memories that don't exist in the walking world, I also sometimes encounter, use and understand words in my dreams that don't exist in the waking world, and maybe they should. Here are some that I both remembered the word and meaning of it upon awakening:

Artigate: verb. To show an idea through means of art, often combined media. For example, a movie might use a scene with with the sun rising and music swelling to indicate to the viewer that a character has died. My sister used this in a dream when talking to me.

Carules: noun (plural). This means something like "love points," all the energy and resources that you use to demonstrate or show love. My cousin and I used this in a conversation in this dream, where he asked hypothetically if I how I would spend 1000 carules (not as in money, as in energy/effort) if I had that many, to show someone that I care for them more than anything in the world. 1000 was an extremely large amount to have, people would not really have that many.